Tamarin Visits!

I love playing tourist with friends and family who come visit San Diego.  Tam was my first guest in the new pad.  Tamarin and I have been good friends ever since we were co-research assistants at BYU.  Here are some highlights from this weekend:

good eats at Taco Surf

Pacific Beach pier

it was freezing on the beach so we "laid out" in sweatshirts 

CarlsBAD is so GOOD...teehee

the majestic San Diego LDS temple

DaoFu goodness, Tam loved this place

Some other non-pictured highlights (many unintentionally involve food): devouring ice cream sandwiches at The Baked Bear, touring the SD Mormon Battalion, pizzaing it up at my fav Pizza Port, boutiquing in Carlsbad, guzzling down celery/cucumber/carrot juice, nibbling on Carlsbad Chocolate Bar confections, late night chats about bowel movements, and taking food (discovered my love of Jewish knishes) without leaving donations at Balboa Park's International Houses (in our defense, we ran out of cash!).  Tamarin has this uncanny ability to make me forget all of my troubles and just be in the present.  She truly is a forever friend, someone you never want to drift too far apart from.

The Dawn

Post originally written on 3/11/13

It's 1 am and I'm weaving the last threads of a beautifully written manuscript (translation: I just wrote a lengthy paper for school and my mind is reeling with thoughts upon thoughts).  I hear a bird singing a song outside of my window.  My first thoughts, why the hell is a bird singing at 1 o'clock in the morning?  Doesn't it know that sunrise is hours away? I brush it off and mutter something along the lines of "stupid bird".

But the bird is so much smarter then I give it credit for. It knows the dawn is soon.  It knows it better than I do.  This morning the bird was reminding me, "Jessica, the dawn will come, it's so very close."  A much needed reminder that even the darkness is not forever.  My mind quiets and I drift off to sleep.

Social Work Theme Songs

Since my life has become all consumed by everything social work, it comes as no surprise that I am now listening to songs which are social worky in nature.  If social work had a theme song, I would nominate these two: The Broken Ones by Dia Frampton and What It's Like by EVERLAST.  With soulful and heartfelt lyrics, these songs encapsulate social work's missions and values in song.  Enjoy!  

The Broken Ones by Dia Frampton
I know they've hurt you bad.
Wide, the scars you have.
Baby let me straighten out your broken bones,
All you faults to me make you more beautiful.

I can't help it,
I love the broken ones,
The ones who,
Need the most patching up.
The ones who have
Never been loved,
Never been loved,
Never been loved.
And O maybe I see a part of me in them.
The missing piece always trying to fit in.
The shattered heart,
Hungry for a home.
No you're not alone,
I love the broken ones.

You don't have to drive,
With your headlights off.
It's a pocketknife,
Not a gift from god.
Don't you learn of love from the love they kept.
I will be your anchor slowly,
Step by step.

I can't help it,
I love the broken ones,
The ones who,
Need the most patching up.
The ones who have

Never been loved,
Never been loved,
Never been loved.
And O maybe I see a part of me in them.
The missing piece always trying to fit in.
The shattered heart,
Hungry for a home.
No you're not alone,
I love the broken ones.

Maybe we can rip off the bandage.
Maybe you will see it for what it is.
Maybe we can burn this building,
Holding you in.

I can't help it,
I love the broken ones,
The ones who,
Need the most patching up.
The ones who've,
Never been loved,
Never been loved,
Never been loved.
And O maybe I see a part of me in them.
The missing piece always trying to fit in.
The shattered heart,
Hungry for a home.
No you're not alone,
I love the broken ones
I love the broken ones
I love the broken ones
I love the broken ones

What It's Like by EVERLAST
We've all seen the man at the liquor store beggin' for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dreadlocked and full of mange
He ask the man for what he could spare with shame in his eyes
Get a job you fuckin' slob's all he replied

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like

Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom who said he was in love
He said don't worry about a thing baby doll I'm the man you've been dreamin' of
But three months later he said he won't date her or return her call
And she sweared god damn if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls
And then she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walkin' through the doors
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner, and they call her a whore

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose
Then you really might know what it's like 

I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
Smoked the finest green
I stroked the fattest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends
Yo, it usually depends on where you start

I knew this kid named Max
He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late at night
Liked to get shit faced
And keep pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight
Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45
Talked some shit
And wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of his pain
You know it crumbles that way
At least that's what they say when you play the game

God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it's like 

To have to lose...

2012 Christmas Letter (edited for blog)

Merry Christmas Loves! 

As usual, my procrastination has led to a mad dash to write my annual Christmas letter before Christmas is over.  I’m currently spending Christmas in Las Vegas and enjoying some mighty good company and eats.  The abundance of Chinese food in my hometown has not been kind to the waistline but the gluten-free diet I’ll be starting in January will hopefully counter this. 

2012 has been unbelievably good to me.  Many of you know about the trepidation I was feeling surrounding graduate school applications.  I was absolutely beside myself when I received an offer from (a school in San Diego).  While Portland and Seattle were both appealing, the mild climate and sandy beaches eventually won me over.  I made a trip to locate housing in July with my dear friend Tiffany, and eventually decided on a private room in (neighborhood I live in).  The sereneness of (the neighborhood I live in) has been conducive to graduate school life, and whenever I need a breather, the beaches and night life are only a short drive away.  San Diego is a bustling city with rich culture and history and a belief in building community.  As the largest city I’ve ever lived in (in the United States that is), its been an adventure learning how to navigate the streets and freeway system.  I’m gradually learning about the different neighborhoods in SD and the distinct culture and vibe each community exudes.   

My first semester of graduate school began at the end of August and ended mid-December.  While returning to school has certainly been challenging, I am grateful to have a cohort that is immensely supportive and encouraging.  I could not have finished this first semester without their love and kindness.  I’ve never felt so at home amongst a set of classmates.  I’m surrounded by like-minded individuals who whole-heartedly believe in values such as diversity, self-determination, and integrity.  They truly exemplify the quote, “Social workers unto one another.”   

I am interning twice a week for (company).  My official title is Care Coordination Intern and in that capacity I complete mental health assessments, conduct individual and group therapy, and perform case management services.  My primary focus is adults with severe mental illness.  Working with adults is a major shift in focus as I was formerly working with foster children in Las Vegas.  While initially intimidating, I am learning that therapeutic connections can overcome all barriers, including age and racial differences.  My co-intern and I work wonderfully together and she has been a major source of strength and knowledge.  I also have a highly supportive supervisor who is shaping me into a better therapist and more importantly, a better person.   

If you’d like to keep in touch, you have a variety of mediums to choose from namely, Facebook, Instagram, and my occasionally updated blog (hey, that's what you're reading now!).  I’d love to hear from each as you as well.   

XOXO, 

 Jessica 

Personal Values Card Sort

I completed a personal values card sort and I highly recommend the activity as a means of increasing self awareness. The activity is simple: you're given a large stack of cards with various values printed on them and asked to select the 10 that are most important to you. The final step is arranging the 10 cards by importance level. I used the personal values card sort by W.R. Miller, J.C'de Baca, D.B. Matthews, and P.L. Wilbourne.

Here's what I selected:

1. Purpose-to have meaning and direction in my life
2. Passion-to have deep feelings about ideas, activities, or people
3. Openness-to be open to new experiences, ideas, and options
4. Compassion-to feel and act on concern for others
5. Service-to be of service to others
6. Knowledge-to learn and contribute valuable knowledge
7. Self-Knowledge-to have a deep and honest understanding of myself
8. Self-Acceptance-to accept myself as I am
9. Inner Peace-to experience personal peace
10. Humor-to see the humorous side of myself and the world

To my fellow graduate students:

Today I thought about running away ....but then I realized if I ran, the books would most certainly come chasing after me. 
We're halfway through folks, think happy thoughts!!!

A Good Place

Man, do I love my cohort-all 115ish of us.  I even love the ones I have yet to meet.  I finally feel like I'm in a place where I'm surrounded by kindred spirits, all aspiring social workers, all believing there remains some goodness in this world that can be harnessed to bring about change.  Their genuineness is striking, their willingness to lend a hand is inspiring.  I've come to a good place and I'm happy I've found it.

Now if only I could make it through midterms...