The post that wasn't supposed to be about the GRE...

I'm going to veer off topic for a bit as it would truly be a shameful of me not to acknowledge all those who called, texted, or provided me with nourishment while I was studying for the GRE. For all those who called and texted in order to distract me from studying, those calls were generally welcome as well, though I did set my phone to auto-message during the days immediately preceding the test. Sorry if you received a snarky auto-message from me, I promise I'm a much nicer person post-GRE (though not that much nicer).

I discovered I don't mind writing essays on the computer for the GRE analytical writing portion. It feels like I'm authoring a blog post. Though I'm not one to enjoy writing by coercion, I became highly engrossed in the topics which were presented to me. I ended up with extra time at the end of the writing portion...time I dearly wish I could've tacked onto other sections of the test. Whatever happened to the concept of rollover minutes? ETS needs to get with the times.

I'm planning to take the test once more because the Asian in me won't quit. First question I posed to myself after the initial elation of seeing my scores went away, "Jessica, the score is good, but is it Asian good?" Gah, ethnic identity be damned! So, they're rolling out a new format of the test which no longer features antonyms or analogies. I wouldn't be surprised if they replaced them with something equally mind-boggling and vexing. Vocabulary is only to be used within context so supposedly with context clues you should be able to determine the meaning of all words. Math will undoubtedly become more difficult as the new test will feature an on-screen calculator. I would rather sacrifice the calculator in order to keep the math at the level that it is. Also, geometry problems are rather difficult to solve when they are presented to you on a computer screen. I'm quite accustomed to writing all over a geometry problem, and I find copying the problem from screen to scratch paper to be a time-waster. I already ordered my prep book for the new GRE format which really begs the question, "Am I studying to master the material, or am I studying to master the format?" Maybe a bit of both.

I decided to make this entry its own entry instead of transitioning to a completely unrelated topic. I do believe I've justified my ramblings concerning the GRE to be its own entry. Plus, it's not like I'm wasting paper or anything. Blogs are green...though I do keep a paper journal, so I guess they balance each other out.

Obligatory life update post...

This post covers the months of December 2010, January 2011, February 2011 and part of March 2011. I'm lacking in fodder, so bear with me as I try to embellish the mundaneness of which they call life.

-I got my heart broken, severely and shockingly so. It majorly sucked. I'm glad that matter has been put to rest. Also insanely grateful for girlfriends who stood by me with towels to mop up the deluge. Love that word, happy for the long-awaited opportune moment to use it.

-Got promoted. This means I can get my hair did. Also my nails. Saving for graduate school is also important.

-I finished my GRE prep course. Let's just say the course indicated that I need to study, so study I shall, eventually.

-I started my position as a Research Assistant for one of UNLV's professors.

-I moved into a house. Pavie barks like a banshee dog in the backyard whenever she hears neighbors. She has mastered the trick of sit pretty which will add to her already impressive trick list of sit, down, up, shake, high five, come, stay, and go pee-pee. Yes, I will accept comparisons to Cesar Milan.

This is how I feel most of the time:

This is what Pavie does most of the time (when she isn't barking at the voices coming from beyond):

Yep, we're doing well.

Musings of a sickie

I will shamefully admit that my sickness is not the body vs. virus sort; the kind that conjures up images of gallant white blood cells in the midst of a heated battle against a foreign invader. Rather, this sickness is sadly self-inflicted and the result of an adverse reaction to a medication. Never mind that I was a little too pill happy and believed myself to be the exception to any side effect warnings, this girl is still throwing herself a pity party.

I was really looking forward to the weekend and had plans to hit up the very much hyped Cosmopolitan. I planned to walk in looking extra swanky with my no gin, just tonic, acting very unimpressed by it all and even going so far as to rolling my eyes a few times. I guess the Cosmo will have to wait as I am currently bedridden, looking extra sallow with a Gatorade by my side.

This entry is getting classified as a 'to be continued', the nausea seems to be setting in again. Moral of story: don't undertake the task of a writing a blog entry when you're sick.

He definitely topped my Halloween costume from last year...

Talk about one brazen Asian:

Old white guy boards jet, arrives in B.C. as young Asian

By ROB GILLIES

The Associated Press

A young Asian man who boarded an Air Canada flight in Hong Kong elaborately disguised as an elderly white man is seeking refugee status in Canada in what border officials are calling an "unbelievable case of concealment."

An internal intelligence alert from the Canada Border Services Agency shows before-and-after photos, and describes how the man boarded the flight in Hong Kong on Oct. 29 wearing a silicone mask of an old man.

The passenger was seen at the start of the flight as an "elderly Caucasian male who appeared to have young looking hands," the bulletin said. During the flight, however, "the subject attended the washroom and emerged an Asian-looking male that appeared to be in his early 20s."

The document, which was provided by a Canadian official on condition of anonymity, says the man had a bag that contained a "disguise kit which consisted of a silicone type head and neck mask of an elderly Caucasian male, a brown leather cap, glasses and a thin brown cardigan."

The bulletin, which carried the headline "Unbelievable Case of Concealment," said information was received by Air Canada Corporate Security regarding a possible impostor.

CNN reported that according to the Nov. 1 bulletin, a "possible impostor" was identified by Air Canada Corporate Security after a seemingly elderly man was spotted with "younger looking hands."

The bulletin said the man later admitted to officials that he had boarded the flight with the mask on and had removed it several hours later.

It says they believe the man and another passenger performed a boarding-pass swap. The government official said a U.S. passport was involved.

Chris McCluskey, a spokesman for Public Safety Minister Vic Toews, said a man was in detention and added that the matter is before Canada's Immigration and Refugee Board. A spokeswoman for the board declined to comment.

Air Canada officials confirmed a passenger on board Flight AC018 had been met by border-services officials in Vancouver, B.C.

"It should be noted that there are multiple identity checks before departure at the Hong Kong International Airport, including Chinese government-run Hong Kong passport control, which Hong Kong originating passengers must undergo," Air Canada spokeswoman Angela Mah said.

John Babcock, a spokesman for Canada's Transport Minister Chuck Strahl, declined to release details but said airlines have the responsibility to verify the identity of all passengers who appear to be 18 years of age or older.

"That means air carriers are supposed to look at a passenger's entire face to determine if they appear to be over 18 and if so, compare their physical appearance with their travel documents," Babcock said.

The Vancouver Sun reported that immigration lawyer Richard Kurland speculated the man went through domestic security at the Hong Kong airport before putting on his disguise, after which he likely swapped boarding passes with another passenger and feigned mobility and communication problems to pass through gate security.

It's believed the man swapped boarding passes with a U.S. citizen and passenger who was born in 1955.

I completely overlooked my GRE word of the post while writing my previous entry! Shame on me! panegyric (noun): a writing or speech in praise of a person or thing

I would offer the aforementioned Asian man a panegyric, but honestly...how could he neglect to give himself old man hands?!?!?

An entry of phrases...

Hit up Monta (Noodle House). Ramen place. Trying to prove Las Vegas has everything LA has. Pretty much futile. Harry wins. Today only. Ask Japanese speaking waitress how to pronounce "tonkotsu." Already butchered pronunciation a thousand times. Waitress gives me look like I should know. Asian face, American accent?!?!? Answer her back with blank stare. Waitress proceeds to pronounce word at a speed not humanly comprehensible. Crap. More blank stares. Again, please? Giggling waitress. What's so funny? Second run-through faster than first. Seriously? Stumbling over words. Impatience, frustration, fin.

Hear me out please. Someone approaches me. Speaks little English. Asks me to pronounce hamburger. Enunciate like mad. Take time with each syllable. Sound it out. Speak slowly. Warm fuzzies everywhere.

Come on Monta. Throw me a bone.

Culture Shock

I've been staying with my dad for the past week and let's just say I've been inundated with a lot of...

THIS


THIS

AND A WHOLE LOT OF THIS

I never thought I'd ask this while surrounded by copious amounts of Chinese food...but...CAN I GET A BURGER?

GRE Word of the Post:

peccadillo (n): a small sin or fault

Please excuse my peccadillo, but I really needed to steal that burger from you.

Dear Real World,

You truly are getting the best of me. My 23rd birthday is fast approaching, and you've got me shaking in my boots (or flip-flops to be more exact), because I'm realizing how ridiculously adult-like I've become.

Some indicators I'm aging like a fine wine:

Summer is just another three months of work.

I'm working full-time and surprisingly enough, saving money in the process. I guess that's what work is for, huh?

Hello Kitty has lost her appeal; my brother actually foresaw this one coming, though I adamantly denied it could ever come to pass. Imagine a screaming 12 year old Jessica, "NOOO, HELLO KITTY FOREVER, HELLO KITTY FORREEEEVVVEEEERRRR!!!"

I almost passed out on the swinging boat ride at Circus Circus' AdventureDome. Luckily, the 13 year olds I work with turned a blind eye to this very embarrassing display of lameness.

I no longer qualify for insurance under my parents. Yes, I will be making that dentist appointment ASAP.

I gain weight. Bleh.

I've become secure in my status of a nerd. I don't like clubbing and I don't like partying....there I said it.

I'm more level-headed and more prone to being rational during conflict. I have my clients to thank for this; how can I expect them to use anger management techniques if I don't model them myself?

I have a 10 year plan.

I have a 20 year plan.

Marriage sounds like a reasonable option.

College seems like forever ago.

When asked why I can't go out my usual reply is, "I'm saving for grad school."

Some indicators that I'm still reveling in whatever remnants of childhood I have left:

I'm officially addicted to Plants vs. Zombies.

I can still kick it with my younger nieces and nephews.

Someone asked me if I was dating one of the boys I work with. He's 13. Yeah.

I painted my nails Shrek Green a few weeks ago. (Shout out to OPI's Shrek Collection!) Needless to say, I was quite the sight when I attended court with one of my clients: tailored shirt, a-line skirt, pearl earrings, and bright green nails.

Having kids sounds like a very unreasonable option right now.

I still stay up late. In fact, I'm writing this post at 2:30 am!

Notice the latter list is shorter. :o

I find aging particularly scary because I feel like it gives me a standard or expectation to which I should be living. What are other 22-23 year olds doing at this time? Am I up to par? I try to avoid thinking about the great prodigies and the very prodigious feats they were undertaking at my age. Needless to say, I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others. Our lives have taken us on different paths, and my path is mine alone.

Here are some nice pictures of younger, more carefree Jessica to accompany this post. From top to bottom: Christmas morning and sporting my pimp Little Mermaid pajamas and penguin slippers, before church showing off the backpack I sewed for my stuffed bear, river rafting with the siblings, my atrocious 1st grade school picture

GRE Word of the Post:

intransigent (adj): stubborn; immovable; unwilling to change

An intransigent Jessica refused to believe she was aging, but alas, her blog entry proved otherwise.