Not an Avatard...

This afternoon was spent watching Avatar and exposing my father to all things Avartarish. I will geekily admit that it was my second time watching the movie. Second screenings are rare for me; I am not commonly enraptured by a film. Choosing to watch Avatar for a second time didn't involve much of a decision: I had already planned on it midway through the first viewing in Provo. On a sidenote, movie prices are highway robbery in Las Vegas. My father spent $27.00 for some high-tech mumbo-jumbo, "Extreme HD" experience. The screen was a bit larger and the CGIs a bit more defined, oh and leather seats. For the price you'd think they'd be heated and outlined in gold and exotic jewels. I'd rather pay 10 dollars less and sacrifice the hoity-toity movie experience "enhancement." So today Provo, I might've missed you for 2 seconds while I was at the box office. The feeling quickly passed after remembering the delectable Japanese fare I had earlier for lunch. Vegas sushi trumps Provo sushi any day.

I would do a review of the movie, but I don't like to be a spoiler. I like to be spoiled, but not a spoiler-please note the difference. I will, however, comment on the popular notion that Avatar is similar in plot to the Pocahontas story. There are definitely some imperialistic undertones to the movie which draw parallels to English/Native American events. John Smith indeed fell in love with someone not of the same background as (poop, I cannot write this without adding spoilers) Jake Sully did. However, Jake Sully decides to become one of the Na'vi and does not seek to "civilize" Neytiri. In fact, he comes to embrace her culture and ultimately assimilates himself and becomes accepted as a brother of the tribe. As of date, I've never heard any reports about John Smith becoming part of the Powhatan tribe. In fact, as I recall, Pocahontas returned to England with another English dude and while there ran into John Smith. John Smith had betrayed the Powhatan tribe by not coming to their aid when they were being persecuted. John Smith...not cool man, not cool.

[I am fully aware that the Pocahontas story I am drawing from is not the most historically accurate one but the more romanticized, Disney-esque version.]

Don't you let Jake Sully tell you who's civilized and who's not

Poor brazenasian...

left to rot in the vault of forgotten blogs. You know you've got something real with your blog when you feel pangs of guilt for not writing or frequenting its site often enough.

I've been keeping myself busy with non-bloggy things like looking for jobs, applying for jobs, and interviewing for aforementioned jobs. I had an interview last Monday and I am preparing for one tomorrow. There was so much trepidation surrounding my move back to Las Vegas and the subsequent job search in a city with 13% unemployment. My brother constantly reminded me of the daunting statistic and urged me to stay in Provo. I've always been one to throw caution to the wind. I call it faith or idealism, others would probably call it sheer stupidity. Whichever it is, I am happy that I cured my case of indecisiveness and decided to move back to Las Vegas. If one of the greatest gifts we are given is agency, we shouldn't hesitate to employ it. Yes, this is one of my new year's resolutions: to use my agency more actively; not only use my agency but be completely satisfied and content with the decision that was made.

My dear friend Jennie Yri wrote a very well-worded post on agency. I am reposting it here because she truly encapsulates my thoughts in her writing, it doesn't hurt that she incorporates a Matrix quote...how I do love the Matrix series. One day I will employ her as my personal ghostwriter.

Because I choose to
Jennie Yri (click on her blog link on the far right to read more)

The words of Neo in the final Matrix movie are somewhat immortal to me. They go with other timeless quotes such as "To thine own self be true". And they get at something that I think is at the heart of our very existence. The backdrop is Agent Smith fighting him, with mind as well as body. He has throughout the whole triology been telling Neo that "It is inevitable". And it culminates in this moment:

Agent Smith: Why, Mr. Anderson, why, why do you persist?

Neo: Because I choose to.

Because I choose to. These are the words that ring out and stand as a banner for everything we are and everything we can be. It is the admission that in everything we do there is, or at least at one time, there was a choice. We cannot control the world around us. We cannot stop the winds and the storms, we cannot stop the sun from rising, or force it to rise, but in ourselves, we are our masters. We choose what we do. This is the powerful gift, the divine gift of agency.

The whole point of the atonement is to give us the ability to raise from the ashes from our own bad decisions. It is to give us greater freedom to choose, and that one bad decision will not ruin our lives and destroy our ability to choose forever, but as we cling to that, that we may gain greater and greater freedom. If you look at any command the Lord has given, what appears to be a restriction upon closer inspection is a protection of that divine right to choose, a guide to help people stay away from those things that destroy agency, that impair choice.

It is not inevitable. Nothing is inevitable. We can choose, and we can repair our impairment to choose through the atonement. The consequences of our decisions are natural. Certain choices lead to certain consequences. The choice is the decision in the first place. We can choose anger and bitterness. We can choose strife. We can choose to love. We can choose to hate. Every moment of every day, we have a choice. Nothing is inevitable. We are who we are, we do what we do, because we choose to.

Merry Christmas loves!

No more racy stuff...

And by racy, I mean race. And by no more, I mean no more for a little while. Don't get on me about overdoing the race bit, I'm not obsessed...I'm just passionate.

Most people use their blogs for life updates. Since I am part of the most people category I figure I should too! <----Exclamation mark to show excitement! <----Exclamation mark to show consistency.

I interviewed with Valley Mental Health today for their Adolescent Counselor position. I truly love interviews. Maybe it's my propensity to be a little narcissistic, but I enjoy talking about myself. Too often I find myself in superficial conversations that only involve where you're from, your age, etc. Interviews, when properly done, give you the opportunity to share life goals, elaborate on your personal philosophies, and reflect upon your strengths and weaknesses. I'd hope that these reflective moments would occur more frequently so it certainly helps to have something prompting them.

The reign of my Teaching Assistant-ship is coming to a close. Sad faces all around. To any current or former benefactors of my assistance, thanks, its been a really good run.
(I've been meaning to post an entry about how meaningful TAing has been for me. I'll put that on my never-ending to-do list.) (Depressing thought for the day: Actually it will end one day...when I die.)

My research group proposal was accepted at a Utah university conference. We will be presenting in late February. By taking the initiative in finding and writing the proposal, I was honored with the title of lead student. Pretty hoity-toity sounding, I know. One important lesson my research group has taught me: I should take an interest in others' interests and try to understand what motivates their fascination. Our society seems to promote very rigid specialization which unfortunately often breeds elitism. Of course, once you've studied something for a certain period of time you can't help but think it's the most fascinating, engaging subject matter known to man. How else would you justify the years you've devoted to studying it? Being a member of a research team that is not studying something I initially found interesting was challenging, but rewarding nonetheless. Passion is passion, and it is inspiring all the same. I'm grateful for the passionate individuals that I work with. When you're surrounded by passionate people, you can't help but feel the same way.

My undergraduate career is nearing its end. There are thoughts upon thoughts that could be expressed here but I will wait until the very end to do so.

As of now, my plans still involve returning to my hometown. This snow seems to be giving me all the reason to run towards warmer climates. My thermometer currently reflects a temperature of 3 degrees. Yes, I think its about time to fly south for the winter.

Miss me?

[Edited 12.9.09-Decided to retire Halloween costume masthead and replace it with something less intense, as if white lettering on a black background was anything BUT intense. I will post my former masthead for this post's purposes.]

I'm making good on my word and giving you the long-awaited BLOG MASTHEAD EXPLANATION POST. I actually stumbled upon the word masthead not too long ago. While trying to use the word in a previous post I had trouble recalling the nautical sounding term. Was it starboard? Anchor? I had to refer to a blog that I regularly visit in order to figure it out.

So yes, we can now conclude that I AM A DORK.

Every Halloween BYU-ers never fail to impress me by using creativity to compensate for the lack of skanky costumes. Skanky costumes are not too hard to pull off, nor do they require much creativity. You get bonus points for just being half naked. Us BYU chicks don't have that luxury, though sometimes I think a few of us might benefit from the taking the easier road. Sometimes I see a costume and just think, man if only she showed a little skin that costume would be BOMB (Psh, you know you were thinking it too!).

As for me, I usually dress up as something involving minimal effort. Let me review the past years at BYU:
Year one-nothing (ultimate minimal effort)
Year two-witch (a witch hat and black clothing)
Year three-school girl

And finally, my crowning achievement came during YEAR FOUR, for it was this year I dressed up as a white girl. Explaining my costume was a bit awkward as I am mainly surrounded by white folk. Most people I told thought it was hilarious but didn't ask me my reasoning behind choosing to do so. If you know me you'll know that I have to have meaning behind most things I do. Not all mind you, that would get a little crazy. I guess most people just assumed that I chose my costume on a whim. Let me assure you, it was much more than that: my costume was going to make a statement and hopefully send a message. I didn't get much visibility with it, considering I didn't attend many parties. I'm not the party-goer type in case you were wondering. So in hopes that this blog post might send the message I was meaning to send on Halloween night, here goes nothing.

Is it appropriate to dress up as a member of an ethnic group you do not belong to? And if you are going to dress up as a member of an ethnic group, what features will you choose to incorporate into your costume in order to make it seem obvious that you are mimicking a member of such ethnic group? Is it the dark skin of an African? The obliqued eyes of an Asian? Furthermore, will you proceed to act in a stereotypical manner of that ethnic group? If you are in costume as an African-American will your actions be "gangster" in nature? My problem with costumes that suggest a certain ethnicity is that they often rely on stereotypes in order to make very apparent the ethnicity that is being represented. While I respect costumes that give respect to the culture being represented, for instance if a person of Caucasian descent where to wear a qipao (traditional Chinese dress) I would not have a problem with it. However, if a Caucasian were to wear a qipao while slanting their eyes and speaking in a thick broken English accent, I would have a word or two with them. If you want to be a white gangster, be my guest. Paint your skin brown, wear a grill and pop caps? Offensive. But Jess, isn't it all in good fun? Shouldn't Halloween be a time to let loose and have a laugh or two?

I refer to the following passage from West Virginia University's official publication, The Daily Athenaeum:

Blackface incident continues to cause consternation for some in community

By Adriane Williams

The Nov. 6 edition of The Daily Athenaeum published a story about members of the West Virginia University women’s soccer team painting their faces and padding their buttocks to imitate black women for Halloween.

The President’s Office for Social Justice decided the incident was not racist because there was no ill intent and because they were participating in a fun team event.

The incident itself was not shocking.

Every Halloween, students at colleges and universities across the nation engage in racist activities.

It is as if Halloween provides blanket permission to engage in hateful behavior. Blacks, foreign and domestic, along with Mexicans, Mexican-Americans and Native Americans seem to be easy to reduce to cartoons and caricatures.

I am certain the girls on the soccer team knew they were doing something wrong, because if the report is correct, they asked their black teammates to agree with their choice of costume.

We do not ask permission for things we know are appropriate.

There is no need to.

But I am perfectly willing to believe they have no idea just why they needed to ask.

And I am sure they are unclear about why their Facebook photos should have found their way to the President’s Office for Social Justice for investigation.

Blackface has an ugly legacy that is not a part of our collective education.

We are not taught about how whites painted themselves as caricatures of blacks, to dehumanize us, making it all the more permissible to keep us bound, to marginalize us, to lynch us and to do it all with impunity.

What is now seen as excusable because it was fun was also fun public entertainment in the recent past.

It was particularly fun for audiences to gather during slavery and through Reconstruction to watch men painted in blackface with exaggerated facial features perform as jovial ignorant caricatures of blacks – Jim Crow, sambos and coons.

With the advent of film and television, people were able to enjoy the mockery on the big screen or in the comfort of their homes.

Here in the early 21st century, there is still much fun to be had in demeaning people of color.

The obvious lesson from this incident is that we have holes in our education.

People who would very much like not to be called racist deal in racist speech and activity on a regular basis because of their ignorance.

Blacks as well as whites are ignorant of our national history.

We could all stand to learn more about who we are and from whence we come.

I sincerely believe that if those members of the soccer team knew they were choosing to participate in something with such a hateful legacy, they would have made a different choice.

Adriane Williams I commend you for being willing to call out something you deemed offensive, even though your school's administration felt otherwise. It is important to recognize that while something may seem innocent in the present, there are historical and cultural implications that must not be ignored. We are commissioned to learn from the past and improve upon our predecessors' mistakes. I believe West Virginia's soccer team took a step backward by choosing to resurrect racist behaviors from America's history.

So in short, I dressed up as a white person for Halloween 2009. I relied on "preppy" stereotypes while choosing what clothes and accessories to wear. I didn't go so far as to act like I just returned from a day at the country club, white privilege exuding from every pore. That just might've been a little too offensive...

Here's to hoping for less blackface, yellowface, redface (and every color in between) costumes in the future.

Is this an indication that I should go private?

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My new guilty pleasure is...

MADATOMS. Here's a little gem from their website:

http://www.madatoms.com/site/blog/what-kind-of-racist-are-you/

It is LOVE.