brazen (adj): bold self-assurance, shameless

The post that wasn't supposed to be about the GRE...

2011-07-26T02:14:00.010-06:00

I'm going to veer off topic for a bit as it would truly be a shameful of me not to acknowledge all those who called, texted, or provided me with nourishment while I was studying for the GRE. For all those who called and texted in order to distract me from studying, those calls were generally welcome as well, though I did set my phone to auto-message during the days immediately preceding the test. Sorry if you received a snarky auto-message from me, I promise I'm a much nicer person post-GRE (though not that much nicer).

I discovered I don't mind writing essays on the computer for the GRE analytical writing portion. It feels like I'm authoring a blog post. Though I'm not one to enjoy writing by coercion, I became highly engrossed in the topics which were presented to me. I ended up with extra time at the end of the writing portion...time I dearly wish I could've tacked onto other sections of the test. Whatever happened to the concept of rollover minutes? ETS needs to get with the times.

I'm planning to take the test once more because the Asian in me won't quit. First question I posed to myself after the initial elation of seeing my scores went away, "Jessica, the score is good, but is it Asian good?" Gah, ethnic identity be damned! So, they're rolling out a new format of the test which no longer features antonyms or analogies. I wouldn't be surprised if they replaced them with something equally mind-boggling and vexing. Vocabulary is only to be used within context so supposedly with context clues you should be able to determine the meaning of all words. Math will undoubtedly become more difficult as the new test will feature an on-screen calculator. I would rather sacrifice the calculator in order to keep the math at the level that it is. Also, geometry problems are rather difficult to solve when they are presented to you on a computer screen. I'm quite accustomed to writing all over a geometry problem, and I find copying the problem from screen to scratch paper to be a time-waster. I already ordered my prep book for the new GRE format which really begs the question, "Am I studying to master the material, or am I studying to master the format?" Maybe a bit of both.

I decided to make this entry its own entry instead of transitioning to a completely unrelated topic. I do believe I've justified my ramblings concerning the GRE to be its own entry. Plus, it's not like I'm wasting paper or anything. Blogs are green...though I do keep a paper journal, so I guess they balance each other out.

Obligatory life update post...

2011-03-17T00:16:00.008-06:00

This post covers the months of December 2010, January 2011, February 2011 and part of March 2011. I'm lacking in fodder, so bear with me as I try to embellish the mundaneness of which they call life.

-I got my heart broken, severely and shockingly so. It majorly sucked. I'm glad that matter has been put to rest. Also insanely grateful for girlfriends who stood by me with towels to mop up the deluge. Love that word, happy for the long-awaited opportune moment to use it.

-Got promoted. This means I can get my hair did. Also my nails. Saving for graduate school is also important.

-I finished my GRE prep course. Let's just say the course indicated that I need to study, so study I shall, eventually.

-I started my position as a Research Assistant for one of UNLV's professors.

-I moved into a house. Pavie barks like a banshee dog in the backyard whenever she hears neighbors. She has mastered the trick of sit pretty which will add to her already impressive trick list of sit, down, up, shake, high five, come, stay, and go pee-pee. Yes, I will accept comparisons to Cesar Milan.

This is how I feel most of the time:

This is what Pavie does most of the time (when she isn't barking at the voices coming from beyond):

Yep, we're doing well.

Musings of a sickie

2011-01-15T23:01:00.008-07:00

I will shamefully admit that my sickness is not the body vs. virus sort; the kind that conjures up images of gallant white blood cells in the midst of a heated battle against a foreign invader. Rather, this sickness is sadly self-inflicted and the result of an adverse reaction to a medication. Never mind that I was a little too pill happy and believed myself to be the exception to any side effect warnings, this girl is still throwing herself a pity party.

I was really looking forward to the weekend and had plans to hit up the very much hyped Cosmopolitan. I planned to walk in looking extra swanky with my no gin, just tonic, acting very unimpressed by it all and even going so far as to rolling my eyes a few times. I guess the Cosmo will have to wait as I am currently bedridden, looking extra sallow with a Gatorade by my side.

This entry is getting classified as a 'to be continued', the nausea seems to be setting in again. Moral of story: don't undertake the task of a writing a blog entry when you're sick.

He definitely topped my Halloween costume from last year...

2010-11-09T02:15:00.012-07:00

Talk about one brazen Asian:

Old white guy boards jet, arrives in B.C. as young Asian

By ROB GILLIES
The Associated Press
A young Asian man who boarded an Air Canada flight in Hong Kong elaborately disguised as an elderly white man is seeking refugee status in Canada in what border officials are calling an "unbelievable case of concealment."
An internal intelligence alert from the Canada Border Services Agency shows before-and-after photos, and describes how the man boarded the flight in Hong Kong on Oct. 29 wearing a silicone mask of an old man.
The passenger was seen at the start of the flight as an "elderly Caucasian male who appeared to have young looking hands," the bulletin said. During the flight, however, "the subject attended the washroom and emerged an Asian-looking male that appeared to be in his early 20s."
The document, which was provided by a Canadian official on condition of anonymity, says the man had a bag that contained a "disguise kit which consisted of a silicone type head and neck mask of an elderly Caucasian male, a brown leather cap, glasses and a thin brown cardigan."
The bulletin, which carried the headline "Unbelievable Case of Concealment," said information was received by Air Canada Corporate Security regarding a possible impostor.
CNN reported that according to the Nov. 1 bulletin, a "possible impostor" was identified by Air Canada Corporate Security after a seemingly elderly man was spotted with "younger looking hands."
The bulletin said the man later admitted to officials that he had boarded the flight with the mask on and had removed it several hours later.
It says they believe the man and another passenger performed a boarding-pass swap. The government official said a U.S. passport was involved.
Chris McCluskey, a spokesman for Public Safety Minister Vic Toews, said a man was in detention and added that the matter is before Canada's Immigration and Refugee Board. A spokeswoman for the board declined to comment.
Air Canada officials confirmed a passenger on board Flight AC018 had been met by border-services officials in Vancouver, B.C.
"It should be noted that there are multiple identity checks before departure at the Hong Kong International Airport, including Chinese government-run Hong Kong passport control, which Hong Kong originating passengers must undergo," Air Canada spokeswoman Angela Mah said.
John Babcock, a spokesman for Canada's Transport Minister Chuck Strahl, declined to release details but said airlines have the responsibility to verify the identity of all passengers who appear to be 18 years of age or older.
"That means air carriers are supposed to look at a passenger's entire face to determine if they appear to be over 18 and if so, compare their physical appearance with their travel documents," Babcock said.
The Vancouver Sun reported that immigration lawyer Richard Kurland speculated the man went through domestic security at the Hong Kong airport before putting on his disguise, after which he likely swapped boarding passes with another passenger and feigned mobility and communication problems to pass through gate security.
It's believed the man swapped boarding passes with a U.S. citizen and passenger who was born in 1955.
I completely overlooked my GRE word of the post while writing my previous entry! Shame on me! panegyric (noun): a writing or speech in praise of a person or thing

I would offer the aforementioned Asian man a panegyric, but honestly...how could he neglect to give himself old man hands?!?!?

An entry of phrases...

2010-09-25T00:58:00.004-06:00

Hit up Monta (Noodle House). Ramen place. Trying to prove Las Vegas has everything LA has. Pretty much futile. Harry wins. Today only. Ask Japanese speaking waitress how to pronounce "tonkotsu." Already butchered pronunciation a thousand times. Waitress gives me look like I should know. Asian face, American accent?!?!? Answer her back with blank stare. Waitress proceeds to pronounce word at a speed not humanly comprehensible. Crap. More blank stares. Again, please? Giggling waitress. What's so funny? Second run-through faster than first. Seriously? Stumbling over words. Impatience, frustration, fin.

Hear me out please. Someone approaches me. Speaks little English. Asks me to pronounce hamburger. Enunciate like mad. Take time with each syllable. Sound it out. Speak slowly. Warm fuzzies everywhere.

Come on Monta. Throw me a bone.

Culture Shock

2010-08-15T15:59:00.006-06:00

I've been staying with my dad for the past week and let's just say I've been inundated with a lot of...

THIS

THIS

AND A WHOLE LOT OF THIS

I never thought I'd ask this while surrounded by copious amounts of Chinese food...but...CAN I GET A BURGER?

GRE Word of the Post:

peccadillo (n): a small sin or fault

Please excuse my peccadillo, but I really needed to steal that burger from you.

Dear Real World,

2010-08-15T12:52:00.016-06:00

You truly are getting the best of me. My 23rd birthday is fast approaching, and you've got me shaking in my boots (or flip-flops to be more exact), because I'm realizing how ridiculously adult-like I've become.

Some indicators I'm aging like a fine wine:

Summer is just another three months of work.

I'm working full-time and surprisingly enough, saving money in the process. I guess that's what work is for, huh?

Hello Kitty has lost her appeal; my brother actually foresaw this one coming, though I adamantly denied it could ever come to pass. Imagine a screaming 12 year old Jessica, "NOOO, HELLO KITTY FOREVER, HELLO KITTY FORREEEEVVVEEEERRRR!!!"

I almost passed out on the swinging boat ride at Circus Circus' AdventureDome. Luckily, the 13 year olds I work with turned a blind eye to this very embarrassing display of lameness.

I no longer qualify for insurance under my parents. Yes, I will be making that dentist appointment ASAP.

I gain weight. Bleh.

I've become secure in my status of a nerd. I don't like clubbing and I don't like partying....there I said it.

I'm more level-headed and more prone to being rational during conflict. I have my clients to thank for this; how can I expect them to use anger management techniques if I don't model them myself?

I have a 10 year plan.

I have a 20 year plan.

Marriage sounds like a reasonable option.

College seems like forever ago.

When asked why I can't go out my usual reply is, "I'm saving for grad school."

Some indicators that I'm still reveling in whatever remnants of childhood I have left:

I'm officially addicted to Plants vs. Zombies.

I can still kick it with my younger nieces and nephews.

Someone asked me if I was dating one of the boys I work with. He's 13. Yeah.

I painted my nails Shrek Green a few weeks ago. (Shout out to OPI's Shrek Collection!) Needless to say, I was quite the sight when I attended court with one of my clients: tailored shirt, a-line skirt, pearl earrings, and bright green nails.

Having kids sounds like a very unreasonable option right now.

I still stay up late. In fact, I'm writing this post at 2:30 am!

Notice the latter list is shorter. :o

I find aging particularly scary because I feel like it gives me a standard or expectation to which I should be living. What are other 22-23 year olds doing at this time? Am I up to par? I try to avoid thinking about the great prodigies and the very prodigious feats they were undertaking at my age. Needless to say, I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others. Our lives have taken us on different paths, and my path is mine alone.

Here are some nice pictures of younger, more carefree Jessica to accompany this post. From top to bottom: Christmas morning and sporting my pimp Little Mermaid pajamas and penguin slippers, before church showing off the backpack I sewed for my stuffed bear, river rafting with the siblings, my atrocious 1st grade school picture

GRE Word of the Post:

intransigent (adj): stubborn; immovable; unwilling to change

An intransigent Jessica refused to believe she was aging, but alas, her blog entry proved otherwise.

The girl and her dog...

2010-07-03T23:11:00.010-06:00

When I was a wee lass, I begged my father to buy me a Cocker Spaniel puppy. Even at the age of eight, I was captivated by the breed...their floppy ears, beautiful coats, and warm temperaments. I remember laying on the living room floor, throwing a temper tantrum because my father said he'd think about it, which every child knows is codename for no. I petitioned my father's refusal by drawing elaborate, guilt inspiring pictures of my future dog. At the bottom of each picture, I would print my dog's name in big lettering: Midnight, because of her beautiful black coat.

On a sidenote, have you ever heard of the Black Dog Syndrome? Doggies face discrimination too: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23472518/

Looking back, I'll admit (reluctantly) that I am grateful that my dad didn't acquiesce to my demands of a puppy. I was much too young to care for a dog and I would not have been diligent enough to train and look after her proper upbringing. The responsibility would have undoubtedly become my father's, who I suspect foresaw that even amidst all my promises of walking her and feeding her regularly. So thanks dad, sort of, I'm still kinda mad that I didn't get the dog though. :)

At the grand age of 22, I decided I was ready to take on the demands that go with dog ownership. I named my dog Pavie, who is a full-bred Cocker Spaniel, after Pavlov's dog, to remind me that I can truly condition my dog to do anything if I pair the action with the proper stimuli. Oh goodness, that sounds so ridiculously sterile and unfeeling. To be honest, I named her after Pavlov's dog because it seemed only natural to name her after the most famous animal in Psychology's history. I was debating to give her the actual name of Pavlov's dog, but it was much too Russian for my taste. ;)

We have our good days, and we definitely have our interesting ones. I will admit I've been very close to screaming profanities after a few incidents involving fecal matter. But one look in those quintessential puppy eyes and all is forgiven.

Next week, she'll be receiving her third set of shots, which means she is turning three months! I've always mocked those crazy dog lovers who throw over the top birthday parties for their spoiled pooches, but I can't deny that I've considered a little shindig in honor of Pav. Bacon flavored cupcakes for all!?!? Even dog clothing has been promoted from its previous status of absolutely hideous to only slightly ridiculous. I swear this dog will soon have me doing tricks for her. On the subject of tricks, Pavie has mastered both "sit" and "down", though she seems to struggle with "make me dinner" and "give me a back massage". Maybe I need to up the ante a bit before I start seeing the likes of those two.

The first two pictures feature Pavie at 7 weeks. The rest are closer to 3 months. Notice how she's grown like a weed, probably due to her voracious consumption of Chinese food...which I am not opposed to.

I mustn't forget the GRE word of the entry: alacrity-eager and cheerful readiness.

"Pavie accepted her bacon flavored cupcake with alacrity."

I was so agog over the writing of this blog entry...

2010-06-01T23:28:00.001-06:00

May it be known to all that I have begun studying for the GRE. My vocabulary should undoubtedly increase exponentially within the next few months. This increased vocabulary will be showcased in my blog which will grow fabulously more and more abstruse as the days go by. Yes, I will throw it random GRE vocab words into blog entries regardless of their context. Yes, I am that adriot. Yes, I do plan on blogging more regularly, thank you for asking.

For all my friends that are likewise studying for the GRE, I will provide a word of the entry, not to be confused with a word of the day, which would be much too demanding of me.

Today's word is: accoutre v. equip
The fisherman was accoutred with the best that the sporting goods store could supply.

I've been busy...

2010-06-01T01:03:00.004-06:00

"checkin' cheddar" as a good friend of mine always says. Working full time as a (brace yourself for the longest job title EVER) Psychosocial Rehabilitation Specialist runs the gamut from being insanely challenging to indescribably rewarding. I've been to my wits end, wondering how I will ever find the strength to continue chipping away at my clients and the issues they are struggling with. I have also been deeply moved by my clients and their resiliency; the fortitude of the human spirit and mind. A little background information, since I feel like I've gotten ahead of myself. I started working for a company in the social services sector (I'm trying to be discreet, for my privacy's sake) in March. Prior to March, I was working as a tutor for a private company. During this time, I was incredibly fearful that I would never find a full-time job in my field of Psychology with the job market being in such dire straights. I cannot say I did anything out of the ordinary in order to attain my job, though I have no doubt moving to Las Vegas increased the likelihood of finding work. The companies I interviewed for in Utah were overly saturated with recently graduated Psychology majors looking for jobs, making the expected hours and salary much lower than desirable. As for what I do specifically, I'll let the experts fill you in. Keep in mind that this is what I am expected to do, but like any job, the formal job description can never fully encapsulate what you do. Oh and by the way, we're called PSRs for short. Psychosocial Rehabilitation Specialist just doesn't roll of the tongue very nicely.

Psychosocial Rehabilitation refers "to a range of social, educational, occupational, behavioral, and cognitive interventions for increasing the role performance of persons with serious and persistent mental illness and enhancing their recovery (3,4,5,6,7). Psychosocial rehabilitation includes services aimed at long-term recovery and maximization of self-sufficiency."

"Psychosocial rehabilitation in general and skills training in particular, for both consumers and family members, are intended to promote a range of outcomes (27). These interventions have demonstrated success in symptom reduction, community adjustment, relapse prevention, medication compliance, and reduced use of the hospital and other restrictive settings."

3. Anthony WA, Liberman RP: Principles and practice of psychiatric rehabilitation, in Handbook of Psychiatric Rehabilitation. Edited by Liberman RP. New York, Macmillan, 1992
4. Baron RC: Psychosocial rehabilitation: an overview of principles, programs, and practices, in Best Practices in Psychosocial Rehabilitation. Columbia, Md, International Association of Psychosocial Rehabilitation Services, 1996
5. Corrigan PW, Rao E, Lam C: Psychiatric rehabilitation, in Case Management Desk Reference. Edited by Chan F, Leahy ML. Lake Zurich, Ill, Vocational Consultants Press, 1999
6. Flexer RW, Solomon PL (eds): Psychiatric Rehabilitation in Practice. Boston, Andover Medical, 1993
7. Lamb HR: A century and a half of psychiatric rehabilitation in the US. Hospital and Community Psychiatry 45:1015-1020, 1994[Abstract/Free Full Text]
27. IAPSRS Research Committee: Toolkit for Measuring Psychosocial Outcomes. Columbia, Md, International Association of Psychosocial Rehabilitation Services, 1995

In response to my previous entry...

2010-03-28T15:01:00.007-06:00

I find my previous entry deserves a bit more explication. It is much too terse, wouldn't you agree? Readers, if you find me writing with a sort of 18th century Jane Austen tone, I give my utmost apologies, as Mr. Darcy has been on the brain with more fervor than usual.

Before I begin my impending tirade, I must caution you that I hope I do not come off as conceited. I will explain further why you should not judge me as being so.

People expected me to be married by now....

and I don't necessary believe it had anything to do with my own merits as a person. I don't believe myself to be any prettier, more talented or well-bred than any other girl who graces BYU's campus. I think it is the result of an erroneous, yet widely propagated belief that girls at BYU are bound to find their eternal companion (Mormons believe marriage is sealed both here and the afterlife) if they play everything just right. My own mother once exclaimed, "We sent you to BYU with high hopes you would find a husband, and here you come back with nothing!" In that instant, I felt like I had been relegated to the position of an 18th century woman, her speech resonated with something Elizabeth Bennet's mother would have said. My family situation is a unique one; I am the youngest of 4 and quite often called "the surprise." My significantly older siblings have established marriages and an abundance of children. 2/3 found their spouses while attending BYU, so it would only seem natural that I would follow suit.

To a fault, I felt many unnamed individuals would harass me about marriage prospects and plans. Our conversations would often weigh more heavily on the actual event of marriage, instead of focusing on the person whom I was dating or the relationship we had formed. It was always, "When are you getting married," instead of the more germane question, "How is your relationship?" The marriage pressure seemed even further intensified by my many visits to Facebook and the deluge of wedding invitations that would be sent to me. No doubt, I was happy for my friends' success in finding a compatible partner, but at the same time, I wondered if I was to be the minority of husbandless girls on campus. It is funny how we tend to dismiss a person's happiness as real, merely because we have not experienced it. I suppose it is a coping method we as humans employ. I will not pretend I have failed to fall victim to these coping strategies, though I am less plagued by them as I was before. They [my friends] can be happy as married folk, and I can be equally happy as a single person.

I think an analysis of the actual statistical data can help us realize how far-fetched our beliefs are. I refer to the following article:

Study focuses on BYU marriage perceptions

Daily Universe Staff Reporters
29 Apr 2005

By SAMANTHA HALL and LACEY HOLMES

The story is legendary: a BYU couple meets, gets engaged and is married in a matter of a few months.

Recent studies have shown, however, this may not typically be the case.

A group of BYU students in a communications research class studied the perceptions and realities of marriage at BYU recently and found surprising results.

Over 250 selected participants were surveyed during winter 2005 semester to study marriage and dating norms at BYU.

“We found that overall, BYU students’ perception of marriage was skewed from the actual statistics,” said researcher Michelle Haw, a 21-year-old advertising major, from Toronto.

The study focused on the age of students at the time of marriage, the length of their engagement, and the amount of time they had spent dating.

When asked at what age most students were married, respondents guessed the ages to be 23 years for males and 20 years for females.

According to the study, however, the average ages were actually 23 for males and 22 for females. This shows a two-year gap in perception for women’s age.

Respondents perceived engagement length to be four months, but the survey results indicated that the actual length was five months.

“I think there are a lot more lengthy engagements, but you hear about more short ones,” said BYU graduate Justin Henrie.

With an even larger difference, dating length was perceived to be nine months. The survey indicated that it was actually a little over 14 months.

“Everyone’s dating,” McIntire said. “You hear so many more stories of people dating and getting engaged than, ‘I’m single.’ You hear the extremes.”

The study also showed that the older the respondent was, the higher they perceived marriage age to be.

“They’ve been dating longer, they’ve probably been in more relationships, and they’re still not married,” said Nicole Elder, an 18-year-old freshman, from Highland. “People base their assumptions on their experiences.”

According to official BYU statistics, 22 percent of the student body is married. In contrast, survey respondents guessed the percentage to be 40 percent.

“I think it has to do with the BYU culture,” said researcher Camille Jensen, a senior from Plano, Texas, majoring in communications. “Marriage is such a huge thing. It’s ingrained in every aspect of BYU. People hear that; they come to BYU and they expect to get married just because that’s how it is. You come to BYU to get married.”

Irene Adams, a professor of communications who oversaw the project, believes the study was conducted correctly and professionally.

“The survey was clear and unbiased,” Adams said. “The sampling process was random and appeared to be representative of the student body at large, even though the sample turned out to be smaller than was planned. So the results should be considered accurate.”

Adams also said she felt the findings reflected a significant difference between reality and perceptions.

“This goes along with (researchers’) belief that there is a perception that dating and marriage at BYU occur much more quickly than may actually be the case,” Adams said.

DISCLAIMER: This survey does not claim to be completely accurate, and it may have some bias from differing research factors.
_______________________________________________

In 2009, only 25% of the daytime student body could claim a married status (OIT/SAAS T19, Institutional Studies). I guess the remaining 75% of the student body escape my Facebook friend's list ;).

To my single ladies, I believe there is purpose behind our single status, and whatever that purpose may be, I hope we will devote our time towards finding it and fulfilling it. Your worth is not determined by your dating/marriage status.

As for me, I guess it's high time to go on a mission...since I'm 22 with no marriage prospects and obviously a complete and utter menace to society. Just kidding...I'm enjoying my time working in Las Vegas and preparing for graduate school. I have been immensely blessed in finding work related to my major and finding a cozy place to live with a most amiable roommate.

Thoughts that keep me up at night...

2010-03-19T00:16:00.002-06:00

I graduated from BYU. I'm not married. Whoa...

I thought only emo teenagers had angst...

2010-02-15T14:18:00.009-07:00

From Urbandictionary.com (your obvious first choice when looking for an accurate definition):

Angst, often confused with anxiety, is a transcendent emotion in that it combines the unbearable anguish of life with the hopes of overcoming this seemingly impossible situation. Without the important element of hope, then the emotion is anxiety, not angst. Angst denotes the constant struggle one has with the burdens of life that weighs on the dispossessed and not knowing when the salvation will appear.

Can anyone say DRAMATIC? I thought I was dramatic, but that fellow definitely takes the cake.

A thought dawned on me just yesterday as I was moseying about: the past 16 1/2 years of my life have been nothing but school, one educational pursuit after another, one singular goal of progressing myself towards some sort of academic enlightenment. And as I sit here, drinking a Pepsi, letting the brilliant Vegas sunshine filter through the chinks in the blinds, I think...NO WONDER I'M IN SUCH A STATE OF ANGST! I am slowly closing the door on the culture of academia, and entering a world where my theories may be challenged by irrefutable empirical evidence, speaking volumes of their faultiness, their inability to explain the real world.

Education can save and change lives, but can education also be a crutch? Can it limit our vision to merely textbooks and readings, theories and postulates? Should education be a reflection of the real world? Should a reflection of the real world even be the purpose of education? Am I going to pursue these questions further and give you any substantive answers?

Nope, not tonight.

Heh, heh.

Valentine's Day

2010-02-13T19:49:00.001-07:00

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Not an Avatard...

2010-01-07T00:07:00.005-07:00

This afternoon was spent watching Avatar and exposing my father to all things Avartarish. I will geekily admit that it was my second time watching the movie. Second screenings are rare for me; I am not commonly enraptured by a film. Choosing to watch Avatar for a second time didn't involve much of a decision: I had already planned on it midway through the first viewing in Provo. On a sidenote, movie prices are highway robbery in Las Vegas. My father spent $27.00 for some high-tech mumbo-jumbo, "Extreme HD" experience. The screen was a bit larger and the CGIs a bit more defined, oh and leather seats. For the price you'd think they'd be heated and outlined in gold and exotic jewels. I'd rather pay 10 dollars less and sacrifice the hoity-toity movie experience "enhancement." So today Provo, I might've missed you for 2 seconds while I was at the box office. The feeling quickly passed after remembering the delectable Japanese fare I had earlier for lunch. Vegas sushi trumps Provo sushi any day.

I would do a review of the movie, but I don't like to be a spoiler. I like to be spoiled, but not a spoiler-please note the difference. I will, however, comment on the popular notion that Avatar is similar in plot to the Pocahontas story. There are definitely some imperialistic undertones to the movie which draw parallels to English/Native American events. John Smith indeed fell in love with someone not of the same background as (poop, I cannot write this without adding spoilers) Jake Sully did. However, Jake Sully decides to become one of the Na'vi and does not seek to "civilize" Neytiri. In fact, he comes to embrace her culture and ultimately assimilates himself and becomes accepted as a brother of the tribe. As of date, I've never heard any reports about John Smith becoming part of the Powhatan tribe. In fact, as I recall, Pocahontas returned to England with another English dude and while there ran into John Smith. John Smith had betrayed the Powhatan tribe by not coming to their aid when they were being persecuted. John Smith...not cool man, not cool.

[I am fully aware that the Pocahontas story I am drawing from is not the most historically accurate one but the more romanticized, Disney-esque version.]

Don't you let Jake Sully tell you who's civilized and who's not

Poor brazenasian...

2010-01-03T23:23:00.004-07:00

left to rot in the vault of forgotten blogs. You know you've got something real with your blog when you feel pangs of guilt for not writing or frequenting its site often enough.

I've been keeping myself busy with non-bloggy things like looking for jobs, applying for jobs, and interviewing for aforementioned jobs. I had an interview last Monday and I am preparing for one tomorrow. There was so much trepidation surrounding my move back to Las Vegas and the subsequent job search in a city with 13% unemployment. My brother constantly reminded me of the daunting statistic and urged me to stay in Provo. I've always been one to throw caution to the wind. I call it faith or idealism, others would probably call it sheer stupidity. Whichever it is, I am happy that I cured my case of indecisiveness and decided to move back to Las Vegas. If one of the greatest gifts we are given is agency, we shouldn't hesitate to employ it. Yes, this is one of my new year's resolutions: to use my agency more actively; not only use my agency but be completely satisfied and content with the decision that was made.

My dear friend Jennie Yri wrote a very well-worded post on agency. I am reposting it here because she truly encapsulates my thoughts in her writing, it doesn't hurt that she incorporates a Matrix quote...how I do love the Matrix series. One day I will employ her as my personal ghostwriter.

Because I choose to
Jennie Yri (click on her blog link on the far right to read more)

The words of Neo in the final Matrix movie are somewhat immortal to me. They go with other timeless quotes such as "To thine own self be true". And they get at something that I think is at the heart of our very existence. The backdrop is Agent Smith fighting him, with mind as well as body. He has throughout the whole triology been telling Neo that "It is inevitable". And it culminates in this moment:

Agent Smith: Why, Mr. Anderson, why, why do you persist?

Neo: Because I choose to.

Because I choose to. These are the words that ring out and stand as a banner for everything we are and everything we can be. It is the admission that in everything we do there is, or at least at one time, there was a choice. We cannot control the world around us. We cannot stop the winds and the storms, we cannot stop the sun from rising, or force it to rise, but in ourselves, we are our masters. We choose what we do. This is the powerful gift, the divine gift of agency.

The whole point of the atonement is to give us the ability to raise from the ashes from our own bad decisions. It is to give us greater freedom to choose, and that one bad decision will not ruin our lives and destroy our ability to choose forever, but as we cling to that, that we may gain greater and greater freedom. If you look at any command the Lord has given, what appears to be a restriction upon closer inspection is a protection of that divine right to choose, a guide to help people stay away from those things that destroy agency, that impair choice.

It is not inevitable. Nothing is inevitable. We can choose, and we can repair our impairment to choose through the atonement. The consequences of our decisions are natural. Certain choices lead to certain consequences. The choice is the decision in the first place. We can choose anger and bitterness. We can choose strife. We can choose to love. We can choose to hate. Every moment of every day, we have a choice. Nothing is inevitable. We are who we are, we do what we do, because we choose to.

Merry Christmas loves!

2009-12-25T00:08:00.005-07:00

No more racy stuff...

2009-12-08T21:51:00.007-07:00

And by racy, I mean race. And by no more, I mean no more for a little while. Don't get on me about overdoing the race bit, I'm not obsessed...I'm just passionate.

Most people use their blogs for life updates. Since I am part of the most people category I figure I should too! <----Exclamation mark to show excitement! <----Exclamation mark to show consistency.

I interviewed with Valley Mental Health today for their Adolescent Counselor position. I truly love interviews. Maybe it's my propensity to be a little narcissistic, but I enjoy talking about myself. Too often I find myself in superficial conversations that only involve where you're from, your age, etc. Interviews, when properly done, give you the opportunity to share life goals, elaborate on your personal philosophies, and reflect upon your strengths and weaknesses. I'd hope that these reflective moments would occur more frequently so it certainly helps to have something prompting them.

The reign of my Teaching Assistant-ship is coming to a close. Sad faces all around. To any current or former benefactors of my assistance, thanks, its been a really good run.
(I've been meaning to post an entry about how meaningful TAing has been for me. I'll put that on my never-ending to-do list.) (Depressing thought for the day: Actually it will end one day...when I die.)

My research group proposal was accepted at a Utah university conference. We will be presenting in late February. By taking the initiative in finding and writing the proposal, I was honored with the title of lead student. Pretty hoity-toity sounding, I know. One important lesson my research group has taught me: I should take an interest in others' interests and try to understand what motivates their fascination. Our society seems to promote very rigid specialization which unfortunately often breeds elitism. Of course, once you've studied something for a certain period of time you can't help but think it's the most fascinating, engaging subject matter known to man. How else would you justify the years you've devoted to studying it? Being a member of a research team that is not studying something I initially found interesting was challenging, but rewarding nonetheless. Passion is passion, and it is inspiring all the same. I'm grateful for the passionate individuals that I work with. When you're surrounded by passionate people, you can't help but feel the same way.

My undergraduate career is nearing its end. There are thoughts upon thoughts that could be expressed here but I will wait until the very end to do so.

As of now, my plans still involve returning to my hometown. This snow seems to be giving me all the reason to run towards warmer climates. My thermometer currently reflects a temperature of 3 degrees. Yes, I think its about time to fly south for the winter.

Miss me?

2009-12-02T22:44:00.012-07:00

[Edited 12.9.09-Decided to retire Halloween costume masthead and replace it with something less intense, as if white lettering on a black background was anything BUT intense. I will post my former masthead for this post's purposes.]

I'm making good on my word and giving you the long-awaited BLOG MASTHEAD EXPLANATION POST. I actually stumbled upon the word masthead not too long ago. While trying to use the word in a previous post I had trouble recalling the nautical sounding term. Was it starboard? Anchor? I had to refer to a blog that I regularly visit in order to figure it out.

So yes, we can now conclude that I AM A DORK.

Every Halloween BYU-ers never fail to impress me by using creativity to compensate for the lack of skanky costumes. Skanky costumes are not too hard to pull off, nor do they require much creativity. You get bonus points for just being half naked. Us BYU chicks don't have that luxury, though sometimes I think a few of us might benefit from the taking the easier road. Sometimes I see a costume and just think, man if only she showed a little skin that costume would be BOMB (Psh, you know you were thinking it too!).

As for me, I usually dress up as something involving minimal effort. Let me review the past years at BYU:
Year one-nothing (ultimate minimal effort)
Year two-witch (a witch hat and black clothing)
Year three-school girl

And finally, my crowning achievement came during YEAR FOUR, for it was this year I dressed up as a white girl. Explaining my costume was a bit awkward as I am mainly surrounded by white folk. Most people I told thought it was hilarious but didn't ask me my reasoning behind choosing to do so. If you know me you'll know that I have to have meaning behind most things I do. Not all mind you, that would get a little crazy. I guess most people just assumed that I chose my costume on a whim. Let me assure you, it was much more than that: my costume was going to make a statement and hopefully send a message. I didn't get much visibility with it, considering I didn't attend many parties. I'm not the party-goer type in case you were wondering. So in hopes that this blog post might send the message I was meaning to send on Halloween night, here goes nothing.

Is it appropriate to dress up as a member of an ethnic group you do not belong to? And if you are going to dress up as a member of an ethnic group, what features will you choose to incorporate into your costume in order to make it seem obvious that you are mimicking a member of such ethnic group? Is it the dark skin of an African? The obliqued eyes of an Asian? Furthermore, will you proceed to act in a stereotypical manner of that ethnic group? If you are in costume as an African-American will your actions be "gangster" in nature? My problem with costumes that suggest a certain ethnicity is that they often rely on stereotypes in order to make very apparent the ethnicity that is being represented. While I respect costumes that give respect to the culture being represented, for instance if a person of Caucasian descent where to wear a qipao (traditional Chinese dress) I would not have a problem with it. However, if a Caucasian were to wear a qipao while slanting their eyes and speaking in a thick broken English accent, I would have a word or two with them. If you want to be a white gangster, be my guest. Paint your skin brown, wear a grill and pop caps? Offensive. But Jess, isn't it all in good fun? Shouldn't Halloween be a time to let loose and have a laugh or two?

I refer to the following passage from West Virginia University's official publication, The Daily Athenaeum:

Blackface incident continues to cause consternation for some in community

By Adriane Williams

The Nov. 6 edition of The Daily Athenaeum published a story about members of the West Virginia University women’s soccer team painting their faces and padding their buttocks to imitate black women for Halloween.

The President’s Office for Social Justice decided the incident was not racist because there was no ill intent and because they were participating in a fun team event.

The incident itself was not shocking.

Every Halloween, students at colleges and universities across the nation engage in racist activities.

It is as if Halloween provides blanket permission to engage in hateful behavior. Blacks, foreign and domestic, along with Mexicans, Mexican-Americans and Native Americans seem to be easy to reduce to cartoons and caricatures.

I am certain the girls on the soccer team knew they were doing something wrong, because if the report is correct, they asked their black teammates to agree with their choice of costume.

We do not ask permission for things we know are appropriate.

There is no need to.

But I am perfectly willing to believe they have no idea just why they needed to ask.

And I am sure they are unclear about why their Facebook photos should have found their way to the President’s Office for Social Justice for investigation.

Blackface has an ugly legacy that is not a part of our collective education.

We are not taught about how whites painted themselves as caricatures of blacks, to dehumanize us, making it all the more permissible to keep us bound, to marginalize us, to lynch us and to do it all with impunity.

What is now seen as excusable because it was fun was also fun public entertainment in the recent past.

It was particularly fun for audiences to gather during slavery and through Reconstruction to watch men painted in blackface with exaggerated facial features perform as jovial ignorant caricatures of blacks – Jim Crow, sambos and coons.

With the advent of film and television, people were able to enjoy the mockery on the big screen or in the comfort of their homes.

Here in the early 21st century, there is still much fun to be had in demeaning people of color.

The obvious lesson from this incident is that we have holes in our education.

People who would very much like not to be called racist deal in racist speech and activity on a regular basis because of their ignorance.

Blacks as well as whites are ignorant of our national history.

We could all stand to learn more about who we are and from whence we come.

I sincerely believe that if those members of the soccer team knew they were choosing to participate in something with such a hateful legacy, they would have made a different choice.

Adriane Williams I commend you for being willing to call out something you deemed offensive, even though your school's administration felt otherwise. It is important to recognize that while something may seem innocent in the present, there are historical and cultural implications that must not be ignored. We are commissioned to learn from the past and improve upon our predecessors' mistakes. I believe West Virginia's soccer team took a step backward by choosing to resurrect racist behaviors from America's history.

So in short, I dressed up as a white person for Halloween 2009. I relied on "preppy" stereotypes while choosing what clothes and accessories to wear. I didn't go so far as to act like I just returned from a day at the country club, white privilege exuding from every pore. That just might've been a little too offensive...

Here's to hoping for less blackface, yellowface, redface (and every color in between) costumes in the future.

Is this an indication that I should go private?

2009-12-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

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December 2, 2009 1:22 PM

My new guilty pleasure is...

2009-11-15T19:24:00.005-07:00

MADATOMS. Here's a little gem from their website:

http://www.madatoms.com/site/blog/what-kind-of-racist-are-you/

It is LOVE.

Today I'm going to be a stereotype...

2009-11-08T22:20:00.007-07:00

My inspiration: www.asianposes.com

And to think, I overlooked the V sign...what could I have possibly been thinking? While these poses may look easy to the untrained eye, if you look closely I'm grimacing a little in each one. Looking like an anime character does not come naturally to me. Applying heinous amounts of black eyeliner wasn't very pleasant either. Oh well, all in a day's work for Jess.

From left to right: Claw #1, Okay #1, Okay #2, Nyan Nyan, Bang, Call Me, Punch to the Face, Claw #2, Adjusting Glasses

PS: This is probably the most self-absorbed I get, next to posting a huge picture of myself as my blog masthead. teehee.

PPS: Blog masthead explanation post (Halloween post) coming soon to a browser near you...

She's got a face not worth remembering...

2009-11-01T18:59:00.021-07:00

Want a quick and surefire way to make a person feel insignificant? Tell them their face is indistinguishable from four billion others. While you're at it, go ahead and tell them that their facial features and placement are nothing special, just another casting of an overused mold.

What kind of audacity would a person have to possess in order to say such a thing? Maybe I'm being a bit hyperbolic with the above example but hyperboles prove points and I am on a point-proving mission (along with a save the world mission).

Stop telling me you think all Asians look alike.

First off, if you genuinely believe we all look alike, this subject matter should not be used as an icebreaker. I will judge you if you use this to start off a conversation. I may even resent you for the rest of your life. If you have to rely on such shoddy material in order to begin a conversation, I would say a lesson on social skills should be in order.

Boy: Hi
Jess: Hi
Boy: What are you? [refer to my earlier post entitled "Where are you from?"]
Jess: (reluctantly and while rolling her eyes) Chinese (I would usually say something wittier or possibly even snippier but for time's sake sometimes I like to cut to the chase)
Boy: Ya'll look alike! Can't tell you apart!
Jess: Whew, I'm glad we got that out of the way. I always hate all these social formalities we have to uphold. Thanks for blurting out the first thing that came to your mind, seriously, thank you...I feel so much more comfortable around you.
Boy: You're welcome.

Social psychology explains the phenomenon (though I don't really consider it much of a phenomenon) of being able to more easily recognize facial differences between those of your own race versus those of another. I love social psychology; it takes simple adages that everyone takes for granted and performs scientific experiments in order to prove or disprove the adages' validity. Take the commonly used aphorism: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Is this statement true or false? Some would say, "It's all subjective, you can't really tell; social psychologists say, "Let's make up an experiment!" Sometimes the results seem to be what I like to call 'duh-statements'; I could have told you that without you going off and spending a thousand dollars developing an experiment. Other times the results are truly shocking and unexpected. As for whether or not absence makes the heart grow fonder...it doesn't (Diamond, 2008). Okay, enough rambling about my love of social psychology. Here are some key points about our ability to recognize faces within our own race:

Malpass and Kravi (1969) were the first to empirically demonstrate that the identification of a face is more frequently correct when the face belongs to one's own ethnic group compared to a face from another ethnic group. They first showed 20 slides to white and black subjects. Ten of these slides showed white faces, the other ten showed black faces. Subjects were then presented with a second series of 80 slides, 40 of which showed black faces, and the other 40 white faces. The first 20 slides had been included in these series. For each slide subjects were asked whether they had seen that particular slide before.

On the basis of their findings Malpass and Kravi (1969) arrived at the following conclusion: "subjects were found to have higher acuity for faces of own race" (p.330). Their results, however, show that this phenomenon mainly occurs in whites identifying black faces. White subjects recognize black faces less accurately while whites recognized the white faces more frequently than the black faces, while black subjects recognized the black and white faces with equal facility" (p. 393).

To explain the phenomenon that blacks recognize faces of a different ethnic origin more easily than whites it is often said that blacks have more experience with individuals of a different ethnic origin than whites (Brigham & Malpass, 1985; Bothwell, Brigham & Malpass, 1989). Experiences with other ethnic groups increase the familiarity with 'other faces', which has a positive effect on valid and reliable facial description.

If you have issues with differentiating one person from another in the same race category I would encourage you to increase your experiences with those of other races. Another suggestion would be to increase eye contact when speaking to others and pay attention to tier facial features. Too often I see members of our generation failing to provide adequate eye contact while conversing with others. Look at the person while you're speaking to them but steer clear from actually appearing to study out their face. No creepers please!

So the next time you think about blurting out how all us Asians be looking alike, remember that we can't tell you people apart either.

PS: The above statement makes more sense when you consider that Asians are a very exclusive people. Many of the Chinese students I conversed with had never seen a black person in the flesh. Lack of experience=inability to differentiate.

Japanese Domo-Kun and Chinese Jie-ling have some noticeable differences

Diamond, L., Hicks, A., & Otter-Henderson, K. (2008). Every time you go away: Changes in affect, behavior, and physiology associated with travel-related separations from romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95 (2), 385-403

Vrig, A., & Winkel, F.W. (1989). Recognition of own and other-race faces: The effects of quality versus quantity of cross-cultural interaction. Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology, 5 (2), 24-28

You ungrateful little punks...[edited for errors and spellchecked]

2009-11-01T01:48:00.003-06:00

When choosing a blog title I always start with something completely over the top and eventually decide to dilute it. While hoping to make it as attention grabbing as possible, and the initial title of this blog was very attention grabbing indeed, I figured the insertion of swear words was not fully necessary. I don't want to offend the reader before the start of the entry, only afterward...yes, my posts aim to give you a bad aftertaste. Now onto more important matters...

There will be pandemonium on the streets of Provo and Orem come this November. Here's to being one of the few that will not be participating.

Utah County does not deserve an In & Out. The following essay will attempt to explain why.

Why Utah County Does Not Deserve an In & Out
by Jessica Y.

I started off this post with an assumption that In & Out will create some commotion upon opening. Let me make myself clear: this commotion will not be caused by the residents of Utah County but will be instigated by the many California-ers and Vegas-ites (and Arizonians, must I not forget) that have relocated to Utah for various reasons. It is these pioneers who have demanded that quality be something you can taste in burger form. It is these forefathers that recognized the dire need for a burger joint that fully satisfied their carnivorous cravings, who recognized that such a place existed but only outside of Utah. It is the ingrates in Utah County that will be reaping the rewards of OUR benevolence and OUR willingness to share the pinnacle of burger perfection. We have labored long and hard, petitioning the great burger gods to grace us with the meaty, juicy goodness that was once ours. The time is coming, the day is dawning...In & Out is setting up shop in the UC.

Utah County-ers who have experienced In & Out commonly diss on its lack of burger merits. I've heard one too many UCers express their general dislike of In & Out and its failure to impress them. My response immediately follows: sheer and utter disgust for a waste of faulty tastebuds on a tongue. Are you for reals? No seriously, ARE YOU FO' REALS?!?!?! We've got facebook groups devoted to In & Out with fans that are willing to drive from Provo to Washington City, Utah in order to eat a burger!!! Have you ever heard of another burger place generating that kind of devotion, that kind of fandom?

This is why In & Out burgers reign supreme:
Bun-perfection
Lettuce-perfection
Tomato-perfection
Meat-perfection
Cheese-perfection
Onion-perfection and also offered "animal style"
Special sauce-perfection

Furthermore, Utah County is oversaturated with burger joints: JCWs, Burger Supreme, Chadder's (an In & Out impostor), 5 Guys (all of which I have been to and later regretted). There is never a shortage of burgers in the UC. UC thinks it doesn't need another burger place; they think they have all the burger joints they could ever possibly want or need. They are satisfied with their overabundance of sub-par establishments and have no more room in their hearts to accept anything beyond mediocrity.

Finally, warm weather is a must for In & Out to thrive. For goodness sakes, there are red palm trees printed on their cups and on the outside decor. Have you ever seen a palm tree in the UC? When I think of In & Out I think of California casual, flip-flops and short-shorts. It will be incredibly bizarre to behold an In & Out covered in snow, patrons huddled up inside for warmth from the blistering cold.

So in short, I will not be celebrating with the non-UCers who finally had their prayers answered mainly because I do not support an In & Out being opened in a place ridden with ingrates. I will also not forgive those UC-ers who repent of their wicked ways and discover they were oh-so-wrong and I, along with 50 bajillion other people, were oh-so-right.

Man, if my rhetoric teacher (who is imaginary) ever read this argument he would probably shake his head and look severely disappointed. I don't care. I'd tell him to go eat an In & Out burger and leave me alone.

Thought for the day...

2009-10-31T12:39:00.003-06:00

I will not be an afterthought.

I know I haven't blogged in ages...I feel guilty. Really cool blog posts forthcoming, sorry for the lack of a better superlative. ; )

I just like to hear myself blog...

2009-10-06T20:58:00.003-06:00

This post probably belongs in my epicuriousinprovo.com blog but since that enterprising project went down the fecal matter hole it looks like it will find a home here.

Provo needs a good teriyaki place. I find that in order to get decent teriyaki you must venture into sit-down restaurants with geisha attire wearing waitresses which can often be pricey. There is also Teriyaki Stix which I will sometimes frequent in order to fix an insatiable need for teriyaki. It takes an overpowering delirium (usually brought on by my lack of teriyaki bowls) which drives me to step foot in the establishment. The bowls at Teriyaki Stix are pre-made and only receive a quick zapping in the microwave before serving. The lack of preparation is obvious as you dabble through scant amounts of bland chicken and vegetables coupled with an unproportional amount of teriyaki sauce that overwhelms and stifles the rice from ever fully expressing itself. Notice how I just anthropomophized rice, a feat definitely worth noting.

In short, you're left wondering why you even went in the first place.

I miss the dismally dirty teriyaki venues at home. I miss the fact that they're a fusion of Asian fares: Chinese, Japanese, Korean. Kimchee with your beef bowl? No problem! I also miss the fact that I can hear more than just a microwave buzzing as the cooks make my meal to order. Nom, nom, nom.

So I've decided if all other plans fall through, ie. teaching English in China; finding a respectable job, I'll open up a teriyaki place. I've already come up with the name, "JessYaki" and the slogan, "Get your yaki on!" Because honestly, if a place like Provo/Orem can get a good pho place (plug for Pho Noodle House on State St.) it's about time they got a good teriyaki place.

JESSYAKI YA'LL! COMING TO PROVO WHENEVER JESSICA FIGURES OUT SHE CAN'T FIND A JOB.

Paisley Pink Boutique

2009-09-21T00:10:00.005-06:00

My very creative & industrious sister in law just started up a business (Go Jamie!):

http://www.paisleypinkboutique.blogspot.com/

Would <3 you if you took a looksie.

Postgraduate Blues

2009-09-20T22:25:00.004-06:00

TODAY:

IN A FEW MONTHS:

My kind of humor...

2009-09-20T21:15:00.010-06:00

Recently I was asked what sort of humor tickles my fancy. Here is a sampling of what never fails to make me ROFL. If you want to win brownie points from me you should probably quote a few of these people. If you quote them however, I will know that you read my blog and you are trying to win brownie points from me. So, this is how it will go: you will win a few brownie points as I revel in sheer delight over the fact that someone can actually quote some of my favorite comedians. After the reveling period is over I will start questioning your intentions and ultimately label you as a creeper.

Btw, if you are sensitive to swearing, I would highly suggest not watching these clips.

1. Russell Peters

2. Dave Chappelle

3. Anjelah Johnson

4. Bobby Lee

5. Dat Phan

6. Maddox (not necessarily a stand-up comedian but I enjoy the caustic humor he dishes up on his webpage)

I hate these weird social expectations at BYU...

2009-09-13T23:36:00.007-06:00

they are so confining, not to mention stifling beyond reason. For instance, why can't I call up a guy and ask him to hangout with me, without any social repercussions or rumors abounding. No, I am not calling you because I like you, nor should you read into my intentions. I am calling you because I enjoy your company and want nothing more than a platonic relationship with you. I've been meaning to call a certain someone up for the past week, just to have a little tete-a-tete but I fear that he will wonder whether or not I am interested in him. Furthermore, why can't I sit with a guy at church and not expect the entire ward to think that we are now officially a "thing?" On top of that, people now think I'm not "available" because I have a FRIEND sitting next to me during church services. RIDICULOUS! Third dates should not suggest marriage interest. In fact, no date should suggest marriage interest unless it is explicitly stated that you are interested in marrying the person. First dates should not be an indication of interest. Sometimes first dates are the only way to actually get to know a person beyond superficial his and byes. Sometimes it takes a date in order to reserve a time in which you can have a one on one conversation with a person. Sad, but true. Also, you're not a loser if you don't have a date on Friday or Saturday night. Guys, if you genuinely don't feel like asking anyone out on date, don't do it. I would rather stay home and read a book then be a part of someone's obligatory Friday or Saturday night date.

Gah, I so badly wish we could knock down these barriers which impede us from healthy communication. Is it possible to be more open with one another? Or would that lead to a entire breaking down of formalities, protocol and American life as we know it?

If you're wondering how to be more open and communicative, I will pioneer the movement and give you an example to follow:

If you're reading this and wondering if I am interested in you, I am not. In fact, I am not interested in anyone right now.

Whew, that felt good.

Sorry to all those that just experienced this:
From the episode entitled, "I Love Lisa"

Count me out...

2009-09-10T01:49:00.005-06:00

Click to read an article about a disturbing trend.

Like how I'm not disclosing the topic of the article but sneakily reeling you in? Yes, I'm good like that...

Okay, here's a hint:

I'm not one for sensationalism in writing...

2009-09-08T19:01:00.029-06:00

but once in a while a sensationalistic story comes along and demands to be told. This is one of those stories:

[This is one of my first attempts at writing in third-person narrative. I'm trying to experiment with different writing styles...brace yourselves...no seriously, wear a seatbelt.]

Sunday morning began like a quintessential Mormon Sunday morning: wake up and get ready for church. Jessica's complimentary wake-up call had himself not awaken, which led to a late start in the getting ready process. After springing out of bed, Jessica proceeded to make "good" time while scurrying to shower and apply makeup. Frequent glances at the clock made her realize that her rushing was in fact futile, and she might as well give up and submit herself to unavoidable tardiness. The laborious walk up to campus in 4 inch heels proved itself to be trying, but Jessica managed to scramble up while maintaining composure and poise. Church was nothing out of the ordinary: Relief Society in all its table display goodness, Sunday school in all its doctrinal goodness, and testimony meeting featuring everyone's favorite mad dash to the pulpit. Following church, Jessica lounged around the house and eventually dozed off for a much needed nap.

Later that evening, a friend of Jessica's asked if she would like to go out for a drive. Jessica agreed, though a bit hesitant since she was still tired and wasn't sure if she could pull off being a good conversationalist. In the past, late night car rides had not been conducive to stimulating conversations. The conversation in the car began to wane as Jessica succumbed to the car's gentle rocking. The lulling background music, the fleece blanket which enveloped her in warmth, both combining to seal a fate of slumber.

Jessica's slumber was only to be interrupted twice. The first time, a groggy Jessica woke to ask her friend if he was tired. After being reassured that he was not, she resumed her sleeping position: neck drooped to the side, legs extended as far as they could stretch. The second time, Jessica was awakened by the sound of metal being scraped against concrete. The sound was disturbing as it seemed to be inappropriate for such a peaceful drive. Roused from her sleep, Jessica began to try and grasp the situation at hand. Seconds later, a more deafening sound shook the cabin of the car. Screaming in terror, Jessica felt her body being thrown forward as another force attempted to hold her back. The impact left her stunned and unable to move, a pillowy mass blocked her vision as a powdery substance pervaded the car and filled the air with the scent of burning chemicals.

Unable to breathe, Jessica grabbed the door handle and hastily pushed it open. Fresh air began to dilute the overpowering odor. A frantic friend began to ask Jessica if she was alright. Not wanting to heighten the panic of an already shocked and confused friend, she replied that she would be okay.

The aftermath:
Jessica called 911. Paramedics and police arrived to a car that closely resembled an accordion. The driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and the car had become intimate friends with a pole.

My purpose in writing this was not to worry people over my well-being. I have some minor injuries but nothing serious or life threatening. I wrote this in order to to warn those who believe that they can "get by" while driving drowsy. According to the National Sleep Foundation’s Sleep in America poll, "60% of Americans have driven while feeling sleepy and 37% admit to actually having fallen asleep at the wheel in the past year" (NSF, 2009).

"The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration conservatively estimates that 100,000 police-reported crashes are the direct result of driver fatigue each year. This results in an estimated 1,550 deaths, 71,000 injuries, and $12.5 billion in monetary losses. These figures may be the tip of the iceberg, since currently it is difficult to attribute crashes to sleepiness" (NSF, 2009).

I know I have justified driving while less than awake on many occasion. It is often difficult to gauge our own tiredness especially when we are so eager to reach our destination. My friend and I crashed one mile from my house...we were one mile from reaching our destination. Sunday's accident was a wake-up call that has changed the way I view driving. Nothing is worth compromising your safety, or the safety or your passengers...not even the prospect of reaching your destination in a timely matter. Pull over, take a nap.

I also write this because writing truly serves as a catharsis for me; writing is therapeutic and I so badly needed a medium in which I could express the confusion and frustration that accompanied the accident. Writing in third person helped me to distance myself from the accident, which is what I'm trying to do with each passing day, little by little.

For more information about driving drowsy visit: http://drowsydriving.org/

Ron and I need to converse more often...

2009-08-25T01:15:00.005-06:00

Jessica: Interracial dating fascinates me.

Ron: The only thing I don't like about it is that, in the long term, it would result in a very boring species. We would all just be coffee-colored.

Jessica: Lol, wow, best comment on interracial dating ever, can i steal it?

Ron: Well, it's a legitimate concern. So many of us like interracial dating because we claim to appreciate variety. But this would lead to an end of variety. LOL...if you want to quote me, you may.

Thank you ROYGBIV acronym...

2009-08-24T23:49:00.006-06:00

for making my rainbow's sequence of hues spectrally accurate.

I think the heat is getting to me.

Severe writer's block...

2009-08-24T22:43:00.006-06:00

has inflicted me with the wrath of a thousand....yep there goes my writer's block again. Feel free to give me suggestions as to what the "wrath of a thousand" should be followed by because I am at a serious loss for words. I am trying to finish up a few drafts that have been left by the wayside but so far no luck. Sometimes I feel this insatiable urge to write but tonight my appetite is non-existent. Maybe my muse took a vacay this week too. In any case, muse or no muse, the words aren't a flowing so don't expect any...hmmmmm...I got nothing.

I write this in order to inform my loyal fan base (cough, cough) that I am not MIA. I'm bumbling about in Las Vegas, searching for things to do in a city that never sleeps (I found out everything sleeps except the strip after 10:00 pm). I think about my blog often, and I feel guilty when I'm not entertaining my readers with some ridiculous story about pocketknifes, sushi, and German swear words. Maybe I'm having writer's block because I'm not particularly angry about anything right now (correction: I'm pretty angry about something right now, but it's not public space material). I'm actually pretty chill for once. I'm not angry over race, I'm not angry at BYU, I'm certainly not angry at sushi. Maybe I should be enjoying this time of passivity. I think I'll go draw a picture of a rainbow with me holding hands with a person from every race.

senior pictures by gary ng

2009-08-03T01:39:00.006-06:00

These are the times that make you want to scream SCHEISSE!

2009-07-21T14:56:00.012-06:00

I picked up some sushi at Sunflower Market today. Yes, my local Sunflower sells sushi. No, it's not anything special, but the price is reasonable and there's a pretty decent selection. In my haste to exit the store I forgot to pick up napkins and chopsticks. I will admit this is not my first time eating sushi with my hands, nor will it be the last.

(Segue into third person, which makes for better storytelling)

Due to her feverish hunger, Jessica decides to consume spicy tuna rolls in her car. Jessica opens plastic container holding sushi and beholds the rolls in the spicy tuna glory. Jessica tastes the first spicy tuna roll and immediately realizes it is in dire need of soy sauce dousing. While Jessica does not necessarily condone soy sauce dousing, sometimes flavorless sushi needs a little help from fermented soybean juice (cooler way of saying soy sauce). Jessica picks up soy sauce packet with slightly greasy fingers and begins to tear at the "pre-perforated" edge. Slightly greasy fingers impede Jessica's progress leaving her frustrated and annoyed. Jessica wonders if she can down seven spicy tuna rolls without soy sauce but changes her mind after trying to eat 2nd spicy tuna roll. A sudden bolt of inspiration: Jessica remembers she bought a 4 in 1 pocketknife for such situations and begins to fumble through her glove compartment in order to locate pocketknife. Pocketknife is located but is still in airtight, indestructable plastic sleeve. Jessica struggles to open plastic sleeve and realizes that a pocketknife would be really handy to have at a moment like this. But wait...

SCHEISSE!

Man, am I long winded. I probably could've told that story in three sentences or less. I also like typing my name, obviously.

What's Love Got to Do With Race?

2009-07-09T13:53:00.003-06:00

Reminds me of that Warren G song...sort of:
What's love got to do, got to do with it (that's right)?
What's love if you don't respect the game (uh-huh)?
What's love got to do, got to do with it?
If you lack in this game, it's a shame, you won't make it.

Enjoy the following article, which thoroughly explains the potential pitfalls of interracial relationships.

RELATIONSHIPS

Dating 101: Dealing With the Race Factor

How to cope with four common obstacles in interracial dating

By dating editor Arnold Chao Taken from Yahoo! Personals

A recent study on racial preferences of online daters provides some interesting findings. Based on profile-searching criteria set by singles using Yahoo! Personals, the UCI case study reveals that gender plays an important role in interracial preferences:

Asian American men are the least preferred mate for Caucasian women

Asian American men are the least preferred mate for Caucasian women, and African American women bear the brunt of discrimination from Caucasian men. UCI researchers say that "the stereotypical images of masculinity and femininity shape dating choices" and are a contributing factor.

The cross-cultural revolution is not going to be launched on the Internet dating scene, where people often follow racial stereotypes when looking for love, the researchers said.

In spite of these findings, there's always an exception to the norm, and I should know as an ABC (American-Born Chinese) who met and married another type of ABC (American Brazilian Caucasian -- yes, I just made that up). Like any couple we've had our ups and downs, but we've somehow managed to bond well for almost a decade.

For those of you involved with a date -- or mate -- of a different race, check out these obstacles of interracial dating and ways to overcome them.

Dating Obstacle #1. The Traditionalists

I've encountered several people who possess strong opinions about interracial dating: A South African told me that people should date within their own race; my Korean American friend found it inconceivable to betroth a white woman; some Asian guys I've met told me they loathe competing with white guys to woo Asian bachelorettes.

Yes, the resistance against interracial dating persists, even in the diverse San Francisco Bay Area where I live. You should consider that citizens in most U.S. states were legally banned from marrying outside of their race until 1967.

How do you cope?

Surround yourself with pals who tolerate diversity. As individuals, we have an innate desire to be understood; and as an interracial couple, the desire remains the same. You must learn to accept adversity and not let it influence your individual judgment. The acceptance you receive from a circle of friends strips away your sensitivity to snide comments that oppose your open dating preferences.

Dating Obstacle #2. The Stereotypes From Mass Media

Can you blame the TV producers and advertisers for playing it safe by catering to the majority? After all, they measure what appeals to a mass audience and go with what we're familiar with. It's no mystery that stereotyping the population is much easier than representing eclectic subgroups within our population. As an expected result of this, the general public absorbs oversimplified images of various ethnic groups -- and how they pair up -- in every media imaginable.

How do you cope?

Recognizing the biased reality of the media business in itself resolves much of the adverse impact of broadcasted stereotypes. Avoid "keeping up with the Joneses" and don't think you have to date like all the idealized couples the generic media fodder has fed you. Boil your beliefs down to what really matters to you, and you'll become stereotype-resistant.

Dating Obstacle #3. The Offensive Family Member

It happens: You'll attend a family gathering where your estranged uncle shows that he may not be as culturally enlightened as the rest of your family. The off-color jokes spew out of his mouth. He snickers. You're in shock. Your significant other is in shock. The tension builds while you attempt to cool the blood that boils within you.

How do you cope?

Realize that there may always be a family member, or friend, who has trouble thinking before uttering insensitive opinions or bluntly racist remarks. Prepare for these confrontations. Let that person know if you think his/her comments are offensive, and choose honest yet eloquent ways to respond. Practice what you'll say and when you'll say it -- so when the situation happens, you won't let your emotions get the best of you. If this person is worth dealing with, he/she will respect your straightforwardness.

Silence will only prolong the issue. Share your thoughts to show that you care about how you interact with everyone, and vice versa. This is not the time to be shy. Demand respect. You deserve it.

Dating Obstacle #4. The Gazers

I know. It gets old. Not everybody is used to seeing an interracial couple. People will stare at you. They may even display a frown or a furrowed brow.

How do you cope?

Ignore the natural response of attempting to read their minds. Who knows what they're thinking when they stare: Maybe they admire you two as a couple, or they like your threads, or they just haven't seen your "kind" before, or they're waiting for you two to show some affection so they can label you as a couple rather than friends. It's pointless to keep wondering.

Instead, imagine you're a celebrity. In fact, you are. You might well be the spectacle of the day for them. Thrive and celebrate your uniqueness. These public encounters add flavor to the otherwise bland experiences of their lives. You're simply desensitizing them to the notion of colorblind dating. Sooner or later, they won't look twice ... because they've seen it before.

I have fallen in love with a man...

2009-06-16T00:21:00.006-06:00

and his name is Gyro. Gyro and I met on a blind date. A friend, namely an Allie Mullin set us up. Little did she know that Gyro and I were destiny in the making. At first I was a bit embarrased as I didn't know how to correctly pronounce his name. Ji-ro, jai-ro, geer-ro? Wrong, wrong, and wrong again. It's prounouced euro, like the EU currency. Pronunciation aside, hearing any semblence of the name Gyro is music to my ears. I have experienced Gyro in many venues-Pita Pit and Burger Supreme to name a few. Oh Gyro, will you be mine forever?

Basically what I'm trying to say is my new favorite food is the gyro. Donations in the form of gyros are now being accepted.

Some old musings...

2009-06-03T12:33:00.005-06:00

by yours truly. These summer days have not been condusive to a regular blogging schedule. So today I'm going to be a sell-out and give you a taste of what I was like two years ago.

Ian-you cannot get on me for not blogging in awhile, I think this is enough reading material to last a couple weeks!

By the way, I really liked using ellipses back in the day. I suppose I still do...;)

January 15, 2007

I can count the number of blogs I have authored on my hand, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m exempt from the charge of being highly fickle. Each blog possesses some sort of tone in which I tire of very quickly…usually a year or so and I find myself tossing the entire thing by the wayside. Past blogs have been oh so very dark and cryptic, I use writing as my cartharis, but I want to expand my writing to incorporate something futher. Something airy, flitting…and dare I say it…ditzy at times? So I extend a welcome to *blog name has been removed*. I ditched blogger.com in an effort to make the writing process a bit easier. Blogger.com is a labyrinth. I’m considering moving some previous posts to this domain…but we shall see.

I truly have a love-hate relationship with my writings. Many that are close to me can probably attest to this…they see my frustration when I have to write a term paper or some sort of required mumbo-jumbo. I am so torn because I enjoy writing…but with each graded essay or seemingly necessarily synopsis lest I fall over a cliff and die…I find myself enjoying it less and less. I cannot be coerced into writing. The writing process…the process in which I formulate ideas and eventually put them into some sort of cohesive…slightly intelligible form…well I can’t explain it… I don’t understand it…nor do I try to. Its just part of the mystery behind the art…an artform I can’t seem to get enough of…and yet…sometimes it seems like I have indefinite writiers block . Oh great…I’m getting cryptic again…or maybe just confusing.

I’m not too fond of punctuation. My thoughts don’t tend to have much of an ending…at least not one that I’m aware of so I tend to use quite a few ellipses because they are the closest thing I can get to being illegit but still legit.

I’ve been meaning to post for quite some time…but I haven’t been techno-savvy enough to figure out some blogger.com technicalities…finally with this new server I am sincerely hoping that blogging will not be such an ordeal. I have some good ones coming up…my favorite being entitled My Big Fat Chinese Nose. OOOH…titillating.

Well its time for my 10 hour nap. Stay tuned.

Now here’s for the ditzy part,

XOXOXO,

Jessica

January 26, 2007

This is Jessica’s Nanjing Study Abroad 2007 application. I consider it one of my lower quality works but I’ve concluded that I can’t always be on top of my game. Enjoy.

While it is true that I have chosen to minor in Chinese, I consider my minor more than the mere choice to specialize in a certain this or that. I chose to minor in Chinese so that I might send a message to others that I consider my cultural heritage an intrinsic, indispensable part of me. My Chinese ancestry is an integral part of my identity. I have devoted much of my life in the pursuit of discovering what being a member of the Chinese community entails, and what responsibility I have to uphold a vast and marvelous heritage. My heritage has been a main impetus in deciding my future career goals. Since involving myself in politics at the age of 16, I have noticed a disproportionate number of Asian Americans in political positions. Following the attainment of my bachelor’s degree, I will attend law school and go further pursue a career within the realms of politics. I want to be the voice of a people that currently has very little voice in the arena of American government. I also want to work heavily with Sino-American relations and the Nanjing experience will further help me to understand Chinese ideology. I want to know what influences Chinese beliefs and practices and how these practices have evolved with time.

Being blessed with the opportunity to take part in two cultures, has given me a unique perspective. I believe that one should not merely be a recipient of culture, but also a purveyor of culture. For the majority of my life, I have been a recipient and I have indulged myself in learning as much as I could about both American and Chinese culture. I heard the sounds of both English and Chinese resounding throughout my household; I ate a myriad of foods ranging from chicken feet to Happy Meals. I read Steinbeck on Mondays and Mah on Tuesdays. I played both Mahjong and Monopoly with friends. I participated in Chinese Dance while doing tap and jazz on the side. But I know there is more out there. It is time that I share with others the experiences I have had being an American born Chinese. How much more edified and enriched my life and others lives can become as we come together, each offering our own cultural paradigm. I want to be the Chinese American girl that is not afraid to talk to the natives of Nanjing, the girl who is not afraid to laugh and cry with my Chinese brothers and sisters. I want to be the girl on the steps of Nanjing university, answering questions about America, while asking questions of my own regarding Chinese history, culture, religion, philosophy. I will be the precocious American girl that is not afraid to ask why, in very much improved Chinese might I add, the girl who is not afraid to go out on a limb and explore China as it has never been explored before.

January 31, 2007

Let it be known…that I OFFICIALLY GOT INTO THE NANJING FALL 2007 STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM!!!

I will admit that the actual admittance process was incredibly trepedatious…I spent the majority of today moping about trying to plan out what the rest of my life what be like without China in its midst. I know I’m sounding incredibly melodramatic…but there is a story behind it…a good one in fact…and it will have to wait until later days.

sorry to leave you at a cliffhanger…but while you’re waiting…you can write a comment or two about how wo de zhongwen fachang hao.

Ah yes…now for that little anecdote that was supposed to supplement my acceptence to Nanjing post.

Yesterday morning I decided to visit Jo Laoshi to see if my application papers were in order. Little did I know that an interview was to ensue. I sat in the hot seat…totally oblivious and not quite sure if our conversation was to be counted as “the interview.”

Jo Laoshi’s Interview:

(not entirely verbatim but pretty close)

Question 1: Do you have to go this year???

Answer: [flustered and entirely taken aback] Um, no. But I’ve heard you’re the best to go with…from many a person…so I want to go with the best. Are you going to take a group next year?

Jo Laoshi’s response: No I’m not going next year. I can’t take everyone, and I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings.

Question 2: Did your doctor say you can travel?

Answer: I’ve never asked my doctor if I could travel, but I’ve never had any problems.

Question 3: Will you respect China’s culture? I once took a girl to Tibet and she started screaming when she saw a cockaroach.

Answer: We have cockaroaches in Las Vegas.

Question 4: Can you deal with the conditions of China? The girl’s bathrooms aren’t very nice.

Answer: My desire to go is strong enough that I believe that I can get past any feelings of disgust. My mom doesn’t think I can handle it because she asked me a million times if I knew what its really like. I think I’ve psyched myself out…I know its going to shock me initially. In fact, I envision a typical Chinese bathroom to contain a sludge of fecal matter strewn about on the walls and dry, brittle corn cobs to be used as toilet paper. See, I know what I’m getting myself into. (I like the last two sentences but i don’t think Jo Laoshi would’ve. been as keen.)

Question 5: Will you promise me that you won’t talk while I’m talking? PROMISE ME PROMISE ME PROMISE ME!

Answer: Yes, I promise.

Jo Laoshi’s response: I’m taking 30 students so I can’t have 30 students talking while I’m talking. It will be too hard to control. I’m like a mother, I want control.

Question 6: repeat #5

Question 7: repeat #5

Question 8: repeat #5

Jo Laoshi’s closing words: We’ll contact you if you are accepted. You’ll get an email within the next week.

My closing thoughts: Don’t beat around the bush…you don’t want me to go. Jessica and Adam were told on the spot that they were accepted…obviously you have some reservations…but I wish you would be frank with me about them.

11-4:50 pm: Moping

4:51 pm: I approach Jo Laoshi. I told her up front that I knew she usually tells people if they were accepted at the interview. I wanted to know why I hadn’t been. She told me that I had and started laughing. I felt like a dope. She explained that at first she didn’t want to take me because of her first classroom encounter with me in which I was talking while she was talking. I apoligized and told her that it was the first day and I was trying to do a bit of networking. She said that after the first day she never had a problem with me. After considering this for a bit, she told me she had a good feeling come over her. My papers were submitted shortly after.

February 7, 2009

I am so immensely grateful for dear friends such as Xaviera. I have friends that will listen to my incessant chatter…even if some things are in fact…a bit inconsequential, friends that consider my acceptance to Nanjing reason enough to celebrate, friends that will bring me breakfast at 7 am in the morning before my impending exam, friends that assist in the babysitting of my nieces and nephew…even amist tears and ear-splitting screams, friends that will tolerate my often caustic sarcasm…while often dishing their own and keeping me forever on my toes, friends that never cease to love me…even with all of my faults. WAH! I am so blessed!!! SO BLESSED!

While giving a visting teaching message (yes visiting teaching is now a priority for me post R.S. Secretary calling) I mentioned the importance of being an instrument in the Lord’s hands. I have witnessed the way in which the Lord has operated through his servants. I think to the time when I was reluctant to rejoin the ranks of BYU, what would my life consist of now had I not returned? My many friendships with those at this university would be nonexistent, missed opportunities, dormant companionships that never had a chance to come to fruition. A dear friend brought me back to this university, many a dear friend recommended my current major…in which I find much satisfaction in, and a dear friend is currently helping me sort through my life. It is these dear friends that exemplify Christ in all his mercy and compassion, in all his wisdom, love and grace. It is their outstretched arms that remind me what it feels like to be in His.

March 7, 2007

Today I played the sickling…and not a fake sickling, but a totally legitimate sickling. For all those that believe I am faking, I will do the honor of vomiting in your lap. Harry was, not unusually so, the highlight of my day. Since I am well aware that he now takes a gander at my blog I will have to be more careful as to what I say about him. Chinese won’t suffice as he too is learner of the Chinese language. BAH!

Harry and I crafted (and by Harry and I, I mean just me) the most brilliant story as to how we met. These stories are often necessary post marriage, almost an initiation rite for newly married couples entering a ward. Here’s how the story goes:

Both Harry and I felt an innate void within our lives. A deep, dark, void that we couldn’t fill no matter how hard we tried. We both had the desire to know about our roots, our culture-where we came from. In doing so, we not only filled a void within our minds, but a void within our hearts.

Translation: Harry and I met in Chinese class.

Nausea is back. Later days.

March 27, 2007

I just did something incredulous. I vacuumed my Ipod. By the time I realized what was going on it was too late and one of my headphones had been mercilessly ripped out of its socket…gah! What the fudge!?!?!??! Now only one earphone works!!! Well…whatever…its not like I’m fond of hearing both sides of anything. bah!

Why no reason blog activity, you may be inquiring of me. It is because, as my neice so aptly put it, I am a lovebug. Trust me, the girl is not lying, she wrote it on her art desk in big black letters. JESSICA LOVES HARRY. JESSICA IS A LOVEBUG. Kids are pretty intuitive. Their frankness and intuitivity can make for some awkward situations. Good thing Harry already knows.

I’ve been sacrificing quite a bit in order to feed my Harry addiction. Sleep probably tops the list. My lack of sleep has been affecting my performance in every other facet of life as well. This doesn’t seem in the least bit logical. If we truly loved each other…would we be subjecting each other to a life of sleep-deprivation coupled with obsessive behavior and counterproductive behaviors? The funny thing is, no one ever enumerates the less so glamorous side of love…in fact, being in love can be considered comprable to mental illness. Your seratonin levels drop, dopamine levels increase…your body is all out of sorts and yet…

IT IS WELL WORTH IT!!!

April 10, 2007

Oddly enough, I feel inclined to fill one of these out.

1. What are you looking forward to?

China
2. Is it harder to be rejected or to reject someone?

Rejected, definitely. I can’t deny that it is difficult to reject someone, but at least when you reject someone you are somewhat in control, and it is therefore easier to deal with. Being rejected is entirely out of your control, you have no idea what the other parties’ real intent or motive was. You only have questions without any answers.

3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Whatever my mom put in, so usually oldies and classical

4. What is the best thing about your current job?

The people, and by the people I am NOT referring to the missionaries

5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class?

Not necessarily, but I can tell you this: I loathe people that say they will call you back and never do, or people that let the conversation die but don’t have the decency to hang out, also people that don’t give you their full attention during the conversation, myself included. It also bothers me when a boyfriend doesn’t let me hang up first or is too quick to hang up the phone, also when the bf talks on the phone while we’re on a date or something of that nature.

6. What’s the last thing you drank?

Sonic Limeaid
7. Name one thing that makes you squirm.

Laughing at someone just to humor them even if their joke crashed and burned.

8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
Home
9. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
Almost

10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Mostly new

11. Have you ever gotten so wasted you didn’t know what was going on?
No

12. Do you like pulp-y orange juice?
No, pulp is healthy but I’d rather die young than drink it

13. Are you touchy feely?
Depends on the day, with most of my girlfriends I am

14. Did you cry at your high school graduation?
Wasn’t in attendence, though I did graduate…don’t worry, just wanted to skedaddle off to college so badly

15. Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun?
I don’t tan but I do like laying out in the sun

16. What are two of your favorite places to eat?
Pho and Noodle Palace

17. What could you tolerate…someone who snores or a sleep walks?
I can do sleepwalking. I cannot tolerate snoring and I have many a time woken up another person to complain about their snoring. ie. Rae and Harry

18. Do you consider yourself bi-polaR?
YES, vey much so

19. What’s something your friends make fun of you for?
My obsession with finding “Asian friends.” I will introduce myself to individuals for the sheer reason that they are asian or an ABC.

20. What’s your worst personality flaw?
I get sad extremely easily and I tend to be a cynic.

21. What’s your favorite type of soup?
West Lake Beef Soup (the Chinese do it right, what can I say!)

22. Would you ever parachute off of a plane?
probably not

23. Have you ever ridden an elephant?
No, though I look forward to the day!

24. Are you Irish in any way?
Probably not.

25. Have you ever ridden in a U-Haul?
Yes.

26. Do you like to play Scrabble?
On the occasion. The last game was played with Elliot, it was a game for the books!

27. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
No.

28. Have you ever drank Jack Daniels?
No.

29. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
No.

30. What are you saving your money up for right now?
China.

31. What was the last gift card you received?
BYU Bookstore , for winning Best Stage Manner at a Chinese Speech Competition. har har.

32. Who do you like right now?
Harry

33. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your opinion of him or her?
Yes.

34. Do you give money to bums?
If I have money on hand, yes.

35. What do you do when you spot a bug in your house?
Scream and call for the nearest person to annihilate it.

36. What is your favorite Disney movie?
Beauty and the Beast

37. Where were you 1 hour ago?
In my room facebooking or myspacing

38. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Patrick

39.What was the last thing that really made you smile?
Harry’s Mac and Cheese debacle

If I still had a Twitter...

2009-05-12T16:24:00.008-06:00

I would tweet this: I left a Crest Whitestrip Advanced Seal on overnight and now my teeth and gums are sore and hurtin' up a storm.

Maintaining a Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and blog was proving itself to be overload. Something had to go and since my Twitter has been the most neglected of the 4, I decided to scrap it. In all honesty, I felt a bit narcissistic providing constant status updates. Jessica is watching a movie; Jessica is eating an orange; Jessica is picking out toe junk. I guess one could argue my blog is no different. Who wants to hear about my ever-so-eventful trip to Timbuktu? Where is Timbuktu anyways? I need to Wiki this STAT.

I thoroughly enjoyed this editorial by Rachel Gaynes. I'm not sure how to properly cite her work, but know that I am not taking credit for it, though I wish I could...it being such a well-worded article.

RACHEL GAYNES

Sunday, May 10, 2009

My boss texts me that I’m 45 minutes late, my grandfather floods my inbox with chain mail featuring jokes you have to be at least 40 to appreciate, and my mother calls to correct the spelling of my Facebook status. My life is an intricate Web and a mess of wires. This technology that keeps me connected is used by a wide age range, including Generation X, Generation Y and the one to which I personally subscribe and call fondly Generation I.

Generation I is my term for the slightly self-absorbed generation at the forefront of the social media movement. Each member has an arsenal of social media tools, Facebook being the most prevalent. Not surprisingly, a study published in September 2008 by researchers at the University of Georgia found Facebook could be used as a means of gauging narcissism. In the first analysis of its kind, researchers observed that the quantity of friends and wall posts people amassed on their profiles was indicative of how narcissistic they were in daily life.

Facebook provides a rather accurate method of ego estimation because this quantity-over-quality online attitude mimics real-life behavior in which narcissists concern themselves only with how things appear to others. I am by no means condemning every one of Facebook’s 175 million users as raging egomaniacs, but the whole concept really is a transparent spectacle of self-promotion.

Facebook permits any narcissist with Internet access to assemble an army of pseudo friends, employ the help of a thesaurus in writing contemplative wall posts and upload only photos in which the subject’s nose looks almost proportionate. By controlling every aspect of one’s profile, a user can create a compelling identity similar to the one that person implements in reality, but better.

When I created my own Facebook profile, I justified it by saying it was a means of staying informed about the lives of my friends as we chased our dreams and the miles between us multiplied. Then I discovered the “info” section. Later, as I was doing the final spell check on my alphabetical lists of interests, favorite music and must-reads, it was pretty useless denying, even to myself, that Facebook is designed more as an outlet to showcase every detail of one’s life than to stay in touch with friends.

It’s this kind of blatant egocentricity, popular among members of Generation I, that has enabled Facebook to flourish. In preparation for writing this article, I spent an evening appraising my friends’ Facebooks. After a few hours of procrastination barely disguised as research, I concluded egotism isn’t just for the egotist anymore. Mark Leary, a psychologist at Duke University, told ABC News that social media such as Facebook promote narcissistic behavior, even in an unpretentious person. It seems everyone has an inner narcissist who is responsible for the Facebook status.

The status is uncontested as my favorite component of Facebook. Not only does it bestow upon users the far-too-rare opportunity to speak in third person; it allows them to habitually update their friends on the most inane details of their lives. For example, “Rachel Gaynes is writing her editorial,” or “Rachel Gaynes is making a marshmallow sandwich,” or “Rachel Gaynes is hung over and still writing her editorial.”

This isn’t, however, merely the work of the inner narcissist. The Facebook status is the result of a significant shift in thinking within Generation I. The concept of being social has adapted, now requiring that a person be eternally connected and no longer differentiate between personal and public information. Young people have accepted that sharing private information about themselves is simply a part of having friends. The advice your mother provided long ago finally makes sense: Sharing is caring.

Facebook is the embodiment of an online world in which users share secrets as if they were shaking hands. It is a strain of narcissm, but it’s far more evolved than that. We are witnessing the initiation of a modern custom of absolute exposure, a side effect of the information age. I can only imagine the ways in which this candor will continue to grow.

2009-05-08T11:44:00.009-06:00

我的中国名字

Jess inspired me to write a blog about the very elusive meaning behind my Chinese name. A little shout out to one of my dearest friends, Jess Tang, for recently creating a blog and writing about the origins of her Chinese name-girl, you are my inspiration!

I describe the meaning as being elusive because for most of my life the meaning has truly eluded me, confused me, and ultimately, held no place in my formal name as I already possessed an American first name, middle name, and last name.

Without further ado, I present to you...my Chinese name (with surname):

杨洁玲
Yang Jie-ling

When I was younger I'd drop the name occasionally to demonstrate that I was somehow more special than my White counterparts-I had a fourth name that no one understood. It resounded with such a exotic ring to it, albeit I was not pronouncing it according to proper Chinese tones (in all honesty, to this day my tones are still sub-par). Throughout my lifetime I've vacillated between moments of being very proud of my ethnic heritage and moments of being utterly ashamed that I possessed one drop of Chinese blood. My love and appreciation for my Chinese name has coincided with these moments. In the past, I've been more prone to share my American middle name, "Anne" (and if you're thinking it's pronounced "Annie" you are most indubitably wrong). My mother bestowed the name upon me primarily because it resembles her own first name. My father, being the more "Chinese" one of the two gave me my Chinese name. I often wonder if my father ever expected me to utilize my Chinese name in the future. Considering that neither one of my parents taught their children Chinese, I would highly doubt that they expected us to use them. Thankfully, my name and my sibling's Chinese names did not go by the wayside. My brothers used their Chinese names extensively while on their LDS missions in Taiwan. My Chinese name came in handy while taking BYU Chinese courses and of course, while studying abroad in China. Instead of having to arbitrarily pick a name for myself or have an online program select one for me, I had one prepackaged and waiting for me to open its folds and discover its meaning. Writing my name was a challenge in and of itself. Stroke order did not come naturally and I struggled to make my characters look presentable. On top of this, I would often forget how to write the characters. However, even amidst my forgetfulness of strokes and characters, I never forgot the meaning of my name.

My father's interpretation: clean, honest, intelligent, possessing integrity, valuable, priceless.
The dictionary's definition: jie from qingjie=clean, ling from ling long=exquisite; detailed; clever; quick (of a woman)

How grateful I am to have a name that carries such meaning. My name has given me a standard to which I aspire to. I yearn to exemplify the qualities my father envisioned for me.

When asked which name I would like to be called by during graduation, I asked that Jie-ling be used in place of Anne. I have also decided that I will formally change my middle name on my birth certificate. The journey to discovering the significance behind my ethnic heritage has been such a meaningful part of my college career that I would like to commemorate this journey through the use of my Chinese name during convocations. The journey will be a lifelong one and I feel that by officially changing my middle name I can further celebrate my continued commitment to studying Chinese culture and language.

"I like you a lot," Meg

2009-05-02T12:00:00.011-06:00

Man oh man, can it possibly be May already? My recent trip back home has made me totally oblivious to the passage of time.

Here are some highlights of my trip:

DADDY and all the spoilage
Playing with Ian and Meg
Chinese-style crab with all the fixings
Visiting my mom's 3rd grade class and pumping them up for college
Dim-sum
Using my mom's back massage chair
Sushi-mon & Trader Joes with mom
Walking along the Silver Springs trail with mom
Seeing my Rae-Rae and meeting her new boo (I give my stamp of approval!)
My rental car, a trusty Chevy Cobalt
Town Square-Sephora, H&M
A $2.50 laptop case at CostPlus World Market
Pho
Late night jok run with my dad
Going to a translation appointment with my dad and seeing him work his linguistic magic
Late night convo with my big brother
牛肉面，饺子，猪耳朵
Golden Spoon
being void of all responsibility for one week

I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to pick up where reality left off but I'm sure the advent of spring term will help with that. Going back to work yesterday also helped. I heard a great joke at work and I'm going to shamelessly blog it:

People said that pigs would fly if we ever got a Black president. Well folks, Barack Obama is our president and pigs flew.

Get it!??!?! Pigs flew=swine flu?!?!?? I know you're ROFLing right now, don't even lie. Harry shared this one with me yesterday:

Why don't seagulls live by the bay?

Because then they'd be bagels!

How I do love me a corny joke. For all you BYU students, be sure to use one of those during your obligatory Saturday night date.

Peace.

My two cents on "Racist Chia"

2009-04-15T15:10:00.005-06:00

I'm not as much concerned about the product being racist, as I'm going to give the designers the benefit of the doubt (which I rarely do, so I'm quite surprised at my own benevolence); they're just using a famous face to promote a product that is waning in popularity.

What I am more concerned about is how awful of a rendition it is! Obama is an attractive man and this monstrosity of a Chia Pet does him absolutely no justice. Shame on the Chia corporation, which I'm pretty sure ISN'T their name, but wouldn't it be cool if it was?

Sorry for the brevity of my post, but I've got bigger things to worry about...

IT'S FINALS WEEK!

Obama puppy fiasco post forthcoming...(just kidding, maybe)

A Racist Chia Pet?

2009-04-07T17:02:00.004-06:00

[featured on AOL Home]

Obama Chia Pet Pulled from Shelves

Looks as if President Obama's high approval ratings are going to outlast his time on store shelves and might we add, thankfully.

Walgreens stores in Tampa and Chicago have opted to pull the "Chia Obama" from store shelves after customers expressed concerns to management that the plants were racist.

According to Walgreens spokesman Robert Elfinger, store managers have the right to choose what will and will not be sold in store. But, after company management received complaints, the plants were removed.

Both sides seem to maintain reasonable arguments -- yes, it resembles an afro but then again, Homer Simpson's Chia Pet has the same hair do. And let's remember, he didn't have hair to begin with. Would Marge have been offended that Homer was depicted with a full head of hair?

Chia Obama will still be sold at chiaobama.com should you really want one for your home.
___________________________________________________________________

So what do you think? Is the "Chia Obama" offensive? Do you secretly want one?

China grapples with new world role

2009-04-01T14:51:00.002-06:00

Posted: Tuesday, March 31, 2009 11:44 AM
Filed Under: Beijing, China
By Eric Baculinao, NBC News Beijing Bureau Chief

BEIJING – As President Hu Jintao heads for the G-20 Summit in London to tackle the global financial crisis, Chinese media is abuzz with clashing views about how the Middle Kingdom should manage its increasingly central role in world affairs.

With their economy still expanding and banks still awash with cash – and the government holding $2 trillion in foreign currency reserves, more than half of which is invested in debt that supports the United States – the Chinese are generally taking pride in their unprecedented new clout in world affairs.

"Superior system advantage" is how Chinese central bank governor Zhou Xiaochuan explains China’s relative strength. He recently called for an end to the dominance of the U.S. dollar as the world’s reserve currency, prompting concerns about China’s assertive economic nationalism.

And nationalism is proving to be the sensitive issue that both Chinese leaders and the public have to grapple with as they try to define the nation’s new "great power" status.

‘China is unhappy’
The latest salvo on the nationalism debate was fired by a group of scholars who argue in a best-selling new book that the current financial crisis is proof of the corruption of the world capitalist system led by the United States – and that it’s time for China to take the lead.

The group put out a collection of essays called "Unhappy China – The Great Time, Grand Vision and Our Challenges" in order to "spur, stimulate and wake up" China’s intellectuals.

The book declares: "With Chinese national strength growing at an unprecedented rate, China should stop self-debasing and come to recognize that it has the power to lead the world, and the necessity to break away from Western influence. We are most qualified to lead this world; Westerners should be second."

Conceived by the authors last October as the global financial crisis began to sweep America and the world, the book was published in early March and is selling for $4.40 a copy. Its first printing sold out and the second printing of 270,000 is reportedly selling fast as well.

No to 'Chimerica'
According to Huang Jisu, one of the book’s authors and a sociologist, the idea is for China to take the lead in reforming the world and not to be the new leader of the old system.

"In that sense, we also reject the idea of ‘Chimerica’ or China and America jointly leading the world, if it means China merely sharing in the spoils of the current global system," Huang said, dismissing recent suggestions by analysts that the success of the G-20 Summit will hinge on G2, the partnership between the United States and China.

"We are for changing the world system, not for China becoming the new hegemon or new Big Brother of the world," he said.

The book itself has faced a barrage of criticism from bloggers and academics, who accuse the authors of cashing in on "extreme nationalism" that is embarrassing and unconstructive.

"Actually, much of the criticism is based on misunderstanding," said Huang, citing one survey by Sina.com, a popular Chinese web site, showing that a majority of Chinese support the main points of the book.

While the book’s thesis contradicts China’s official diplomacy that seeks cooperation and not contention in tackling the global crisis, Huang said they have not encountered any government interference or criticism. "In that sense, we have room for freedom of expression in China," he said.

China ‘not ready to lead’
But one critic of the book, Hu Xingdou, an economics professor at the Beijing Institute of Technology, called its publication a sign of the "ideological chaos" in China.

"Extreme nationalism is not the answer, and China is not ready to lead," declared Hu, while acknowledging the authors’ right to express their opinion.

"As for Chimerica, China cannot possibly exercise leadership shoulder to shoulder with the United States simply because China is not qualified," he said, arguing that China’s "soft power" is far from adequate.

"China’s value systems – its ideological, political and cultural systems – are not yet part of the global mainstream," he explained.

Hu dismissed China’s prosperity as deceptive. "Essentially, we remain as the peasant laborer of the world, relying on cheap labor and cheap products."

He likened the current situation to the 1930’s Great Depression when Stalin’s Soviet Union seemed to have the upper hand over the ailing Western economies. "I hope China will learn the lesson and not take the road taken by Stalin," he said.

"Only by undertaking political reform and democracy can China qualify to lead the world, and also avert domestic crisis and insure long-term prosperity," he said.

Affirming Affirmative Action

2009-03-18T15:07:00.027-06:00

So I guess my lack of bloggage also coincides with my lack of fast foodage. Hey, if I don't get my trans fats I have writers block...FOR REALS! Jokes lang! (Just kidding in Tagalog)

wow, what a creepy rendition of trans-fat

I think my better explanation would be midterms and a horrendously bad cold(age). Man, I am tempted to put -age and the end of everything. I think it makes me sound more hipster-esque. I like being less specific and giving my readers more room for interpretation so -age and -esque are pivotal to my writing. Okay, now I'm just fooling around.

A-N-Y-W-A-Y-S,

I'd like to write a post about my justification for affirmative action. I've spouted my mouth off about the topic, and I believe it's high time to put my mouth to paper?!?! I'm being silly. Seriously, affirmative action folks. Heavy stuff. Hence why I've decided to write it in fourth grade essay format.

Why I like affirmative action
by Jessica Y.

I like affirmative action. It does good stuff for college students. It makes me happy and it makes my best friend Lily happy too. We have been friends since 1st grade except once I hit her and she didn't like me anymore.

A more serious stance on affirmative action and college campuses
by Jessica Y.

I've heard the debates and even been in the midst of some, though I've usually kept my mouth shut in fear of being labeled the "minority" that loves "the system that helps her." Usually the argument will go something like this, "I have a friend that is such and such minority and she doesn't even know anything about her heritage and yet she's getting accepted to such and such prestigious school with such and such prestigious scholarship...that is so wrong and unfair." [Everyone in the room shakes their head and murmurs.] Keep in mind that I attend a school that is approximately 88% White, 4% Asian, 4% Latino, and 5% Black and the majority of the murmuring is coming from a sea of individuals who have never even grazed the topic of what it means to be a minority. While it is a shame that the aforementioned person has not explored their ethnic heritage, there are numerous reasons why one might feel disinclined to do so. Appreciating your ethnic heritage can sometimes be misinterpreted as trying to disassociate with the popular, dominant culture. Not trying to make excuses for anyone, but I know people have their reasons. While it would ideal if every minority grasped hold of their unique ethnic heritage, it DOESN'T MATTER because that's not how we view one another or define race. We define race by the color of one's skin; by the differences in one's eye shape. So how do we combat discrimination and categorization based on something so superficial? We work within the system we are given.

We must seek diversity for the sake of diversity.

Having a vast multitude of people who look different from one another on our college campuses will not bring diversity in the deeper sense of the word; it will not give us the enriching diversity of ethnic cultures coming together to share and learn from one another's various background and beliefs. In a country of immigrants whose children are growing up fully assimilated in American culture, we cannot expect or demand that these children form some sort of ethnic identity (though it would be nice.) We cannot expect that they will take diversity beyond just having a "bunch of minorities and White people together in one area." All we can hope for is that by putting people together that may look different from one another, they may just, eventually...interact with one another. When people are not familiar with the unknown they usually begin to fear it or conjure up false beliefs about what the unknown is like. The same applies to race. If you are not exposed to a certain race or have never interacted with a person of another race it would be easy to come up with false beliefs about what that race is like. Even if it's merely seeing another race and possibly passing by a person of another race in the hallway, realizing that the Black man you passed didn't flash some gang sign at you, or the Asian guy didn't happen to be carrying a fat calculator with him and sporadically flashing a peace sign at you. These seemingly meaningless interactions can serve to slowly diminish stereotypes and categorizations and help to ease the fears that seek to destroy any hope of healthy race relations. And as mentioned before, maybe, just maybe, we'll start talking to one another.

They're smiling, but are they talking?

For a minority to actually enroll in a school in which they know they will be underrepresented, is another story. What minority wants to be a minority? Affirmative action provides an incentive for minorities to enroll in universities they would otherwise not consider due to an overly homogeneous campus. Affirmative action provides scholarships that might make the final decision as to what school a minority chooses to go to. It may also boost the number of minorities at a certain school which increases the chance a future minority may consider going to a school. These minorities will know: there will be someone else that looks like me there. Silly as it may seem, but we base a good deal on what we look like vs. what someone else looks likes and sometimes just seeing a familiar face can ease our apprehension or awkwardness. Unfortunately, that is the power we have given race.

I have midterms...

2009-03-08T23:46:00.002-06:00

and I'm sick.

Consider that a preemption for a week or two hiatus from my blog.

Awwww...you can't see the full comic...click on it!

I like the concept of LENT...

2009-03-02T21:23:00.009-07:00

but I'm not sure if I REALLY LIKE the concept of Lent, if you catch my drift. Here are some sacrifices that I would deem Lent-worthy, at least for me:
1. Eating out
2. Soda
3. Fast food
4. Sugar

After some further thought, (the writing of this blog took place between the space of two days) I have decided to give up fast food for 40 days. My co-worker Melissa is my inspiration. She comments in her blog that she will miss her mid-morning rendezvous to McDonalds. I too will miss my late night trysts to Taco Bell. Actually I only put Taco Bell down for the sake of alliteration; I'd rather frequent a Wendys. I'm already 6 days behind schedule, so I'm not going to grant myself a preliminary Lent binging day.

So bring on DAY 1...

Happy 2nd...

2009-02-28T05:01:00.007-07:00

~~Month~~ YEAR! This ain't no quickie, 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' quintessential BYU engagement to married status in 2 months. We've been doing this for awhile now. Special thanks go out to all of our friends who put up with us and our antics.

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever
-Amy Tan

Where are you from?

2009-02-27T12:55:00.002-07:00

This actually occurred a few months ago, though I haven't had a chance to finish this post until now.

My roommate's fiancee posed the question of, "Are you Chinese?" to me the other day. It was a bit random, as I've never spoken more than a, 'because formality dictates', hello or goodbye to him. I was caught a bit off guard as I was speaking to another friend at the moment, so I quickly answered, "um, yes." You would think that I wouldn't be as surprised since arriving to Utah I've been asked not only, "where are you from?" but "what are you?" on a weekly basis. The question seems to pop up at the most random of moments from the most random of people, like while Harry and I are minding our own business and picking up groceries at Smiths.

So I pose these questions: do people ask because they are genuinely curious about my ancestry and heritage? Or do people ask so they can more easily classify me? Do people ask so that they can confirm their own beliefs of what they thought a "Chinese person" looked like? I used to be more open about asking the race question, but since beginning college and having it posed to me again and again, I've tired of the question and I've become wary of its intent. So I don't ask it, and in doing so, I'd like to think I've become less concerned about the confining and ever so superficial boundaries of racial classifications.

I've encountered some strange responses after telling a person that yes, indeed I am of Chinese ancestry. The strangest encounter took place a few months ago. After telling this certain person my ethnicity, she sat back, looking deep in thought and replied, "I don't think I've ever met one of those before."

I was so aghast that I didn't answer, but in hindsight I should have said something like this:
"REALLY!??!?! Cuz' there's a lot of us, you know."

Another missed opportunity. POOP.

Just gimme some robo-affection

2009-02-27T11:08:00.013-07:00

Let it be known that my boyfriend does the most cutesy things EVER. I'm not bragging...I'm BOASTING.

A little background information: I have the SuperPets application on my (my)space. It somewhat reminds me of when I kicked it old school with my handy-dandy Tamagotchi.
SuperPets allows you to create your own virtual pet. Choices range from your run of the mill puppy (get it, puppy mill?!??!) to your 'it's not even a real animal' dragon. With proper feeding, cleaning, playing, and EVEN tickling you can raise a healthy and thriving virtual pet.

NOTE: THE PET BELOW IS NOT MINE. DOGS RULE, CATS DROOL!

If you squint really hard, (I couldn't increase the size of the screen shot any further), you will notice the feed, tickle, clean, and playdate commands (below the cat). After completing one the commands, you earn coins that you can use to purchase items such as habitats, furniture, and and accessories. The application also make a little dinging noise after your pet finishes a task.

This morning I was feeling a bit down. Harry noticed this and asked me if I needed some affection. The question seemed a bit mechanical, like a robot almost...he didn't ask me if I needed a hug, he asked me if I needed affection.

H: Do you need some affection?
J: (high pictched screech) I'M NOT A ROBOT!

Then Harry began to go through the motions of treating me like I was a SuperPet. He even made the dinging noises after he "cleaned, fed, and hugged me." *Harry thought hug was a command, but it's not. I teased him for that one.

J: (through giggles) I'M NOT A SUPERPET EITHER!

Maybe this is one of those, you just had to be there. Oh well.

"Are you KIDDING ME?!?!?"

2009-02-24T17:42:00.014-07:00

The words I yelled at a car who almost turned me into roadkill on the crossroads of 800 North and 200 East. Mind you, the intersection of 800 North 200 East has a stop sign, meaning drivers should be stopping anyways. I frequent the crosswalks of 800 North everyday, usually on my way home from an evening class. I'm usually exhausted after a 2 1/2 hour class, but I immediately perk up when I approach a crosswalk, as I know VERY FEW PEOPLE have the decency or honesty to yield for a pedestrian. That's right, the former-DECENCY-because it's common courtesy to, oh I DON'T KNOW, not kill a person. And the latter-HONESTY-because it is the law. In case you forgot, pedestrians have the right of way in an intersection, an intersection being anywhere two roads cross. Where are these college kids rushing off to anyways? Fat Cats?!??! Maybe I shouldn't assume the populous of wanna-be murderers are only college students. I've looked past the windshields and seen some older people behind the wheel. Though does the fact that I mostly blame college students for almost running me over help or hurt their case? Shouldn't they know better since they too walk the same streets I do? Are their agendas more urgent than your average person's? Do they lack driving experience and maturity?

Provo police recently conducted an experiment in which one of their officers crossed a busy intersection with a shopping cart to see if local drivers would stop for him. Most did not, and the police were ready to pull over those who failed to yield.

Honestly, I think the lack of yieldage for pedestrians is an overall Utah County problem. While driving on I-15 between Provo and Salt Lake I noticed a sign that said something along the lines of "Kill a pedestrian, change your life." They should have put in parentheses, "in a bad way." Maybe it goes beyond Utah County, though if you ask me, Utah County will always be the most dysfunctional place on earth. It's like the very antithesis of Disneyland. Anyways, more Utah County bashing to come at a later time.

Maybe we need to reevaluate how much we appreciate human life. I see cars stopping for the ducks that cross 800 North. These cars stop for ducks, but they won't stop for human beings? You would rather kill a college student returning from an exhausting eight hour day of studying than stop your car for a few seconds and enjoy their stride (it's interesting to note how differently people walk, try it).

By bashing everyone else, I am by no means glorifying myself to the perfect driver who always yields for pedestrians. I admit fault; but I've also made it a personal goal of mine to stop for every pedestrian that crosses my path. A part of stopping for every pedestrian means BEING ALERT and NOTICING the pedestrian as I'm driving. This means not driving distracted and checking twice when I come to an intersection.

I think I'll put in a word to the traffic department and ask for them to put a sign up along 800 North, something along the lines of PEOPLE ARE BETTER THAN DUCKS. Or maybe just a, DON'T KILL PEOPLE will suffice.

One year since China...[UPDATED]

2009-02-17T14:47:00.015-07:00

January marked my one year return from my study abroad to Nanjing, China. Sometimes China feels like it happened just yesterday, other times I have to convince myself that it truly wasn't a dream. I've become so acclimated to my pampered US life that I can barely remember what it was like to not have hot water in the bathroom, feel sick to my stomach weekly, and sleep on a slab of wood. Here are some highlights and (low?!??) lights of my China adventure:

Meeting amazing Chinese college students who treated me like one of their own. I have managed to keep in contact with them over the past year.
Meeting my family in Nanjing whom my family hasn't connected with in over 50 years
Seeing the house my great grandfather built, which may be taken away by the Chinese government and converted to a museum. My family is doing everything in their power to prevent this.
Visiting the four capitals of China: Luoyang, Xi'an, Nanjing, and Beijing
Improving my Chinese skills somewhat
Climbing the Great Wall of China
Eating dishes like suan cai yu and mapodoufu and falling in LOVE with them
Late night visits to street vendors for grilled octapus legs and freshly made dumplings
Squatter toilets

Mean cab drivers
Fake purses and clothes
Traffic
Hangzhou and West Lake <3=breathtakingly>

HONG KONG seafood, dimsum, dan tat (egg tarts)

HONG KONG shopping
Jessica Tang
Hong Kong's MTR
pirated movies
Travis Orton
Jiang Lao-shi
Tai-chi, for the 2 weeks I went
sleeper trains
dirty hotels
blowing your nose into the street, ie. snot rockets
men peeing in the streets
babies with an opening in the back of their pants (much easier than diapers)
pagodas
finding myself
long distance relationship
bike rides
bus rides
parks
English corner
getting ripped off
Terra-cotta warriors

the glorious lights of Shanghai

All my complaining aside, I'd love to return to China. I think it helps that within a year's span, my memory seems to recall less of the negative aspects of China, and more of the positive. There are a few things I'd like to do differently, in fact, I'd call my next China adventure, "CHINA-TAKE 2." As for things I'd like to do differently, I'd definitely not believe the prevalent rumors circulating about what China is like. For instance, someone told me that I would not be able to find bottled water in China (it was on every corner). Squatter rumors were true, but I can count on my hands the times I had to use them. If I return, it will probably be through a English-teaching company or something of the like. While I was considering furthering my studies in Chinese at Beijing University, I've realized that simply immersing myself in the language is how I learn best. Time (and an application) will tell if I have the opportunity to go back.

恭喜发财!

2009-01-26T14:56:00.003-07:00

Happy Chinese New Year, folks! Harry's thinking about picking up some Chinese food at the local Smith's; his attempt to be a little celebratory. I really wanted to huo guo it up, but we shall see. Harry isn't a fan of huo guo which boggles the ba-goo-goos out of me.

Because I don't already have enough to do...

2009-01-22T14:05:00.006-07:00

A NEW BLOG!

http://www.epicuriousinprovo.com

Because I'm epicurious, and I'm in Provo...still.

Thanks for trashing my town, folks....

2009-01-04T17:45:00.012-07:00

Vegas should've erected a sign that I've seen in many a BYU student's apartment/dorm, "Your mother doesn't live here, clean up after yourself." Maybe a giant billboard would've sufficed?

A massive clean-up crew was brought in to deal with the mess so that Las Vegas Blvd could be opened as soon as possible to allow the masses to return home and forget about their night of debauchery. If only everything in life could be the same way.

This was my first New Years on the strip. Being a native of Las Vegas, I never really had a desire to be a part of, 'America's party.' This year, the fireworks show and the prospect of being with old friends from high school enticed me to venture onto the strip. Little did I know that the fireworks show wasn't going to be like previous years, with numerous fireworks going off the rooftops of various casinos. Because of (last years?) Monte Carlo fire, crews were forced to light fireworks off of parking structures, causing the fireworks to be barely noticeable from ground level.

OBSERVE:
Seeing my old buddies from HS was definitely worthwhile-never mind that they were drunk! ;) Harry and I, being total novices to the whole strip experience, weren't aware that LV Blvd would be entirely closed after a certain time. After an hour and a half of desperate parking spot searching we gave up and parked on Industrial, a very far walk from the bar/club we were going to. Luckily, a cab driver noticed our frantic/desperate hand waving to get a cab, and stopped to pick us up. Harry couldn't understand his accent, especially when he said he was from "Cooo-ba." One of my favorite songs is from the 'Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights' CD, so I immediately recognized that he was from none other than Cuba. Thank you Diego Luna! (hottie!)

Our Cuban cab driver couldn't save us from our walk back to our car after the night was over. No thanks to a pair of unbecoming shoes from Hong Kong (I believe they were only 6 US dollars) I painfully hobbled the entire 2 (or was it 3) miles. Harry will probably claim that my estimate is overstated-whatever.

Final note: Vegas is not just for tourists-there are thriving residential communities that exist just a few miles from the strip. I think tourists tend to forget that-or maybe they're just too drunk to remember such a "minute" detail. It's incredibly disheartening for a native to see a symbolic part of her town being desecrated in such a manner. When I go to your house, I pick up after myself. Now it's your turn to return the favor.

Thanks and Happy New Years.

let's falalalalalalalalaaaaaaaa

2008-12-30T23:07:00.003-07:00

I took that line from a Lady Ga-ga song: 'Christmas Tree.' I highly suggest you listen to it if you haven't already, even if it's just for the shock factor. Trust me, it's a goodie. ;)

Man-oh-man, I had a spectacular Christmas in Phoenix and I have many a person to thank for it:
-Jason: Thanks for being my older brother who "makes bank." Also, thanks for not skimping on my back massage this time around.
-Jamie: You are such an amazing mother! Every time I'm with you I try to take mental notes as to what I want to do with my own children, with the caveat that I might or might not be able to have them. After the conversation we had today, I'm a little worried! ;) You are also an amazing cook and I love your new additions to the home decor.
-Harry: Thank you for spoiling me silly! The disappointment of the luggage mirror was definitely displaced by your generosity. I LOVE YOU MUCHOS!
-Jessica & the Tang family: I am absolutely in love with your family! Thanks for taking in Little Orphan Jessie for a couple days and for filling me up with scrumpdiddlyicious (I totally stole that from The Simpsons, Flanders) huo guo.
-Kylie, Jayden, Maddox: Hearing things like, "You're the best aunt," never gets old. Hearing baby coos and whimpers never gets old either. I love holding Maddox in his sling, I love playing 'Break the Ice' with Jayden, I love putting makeup on Kylie; being an aunt sure has its perks!

Welcome to the 2008 Awards!

2008-12-17T23:43:00.005-07:00

1) DRINKING [HOT CHOCOLATE] BUDDY OF THE YEAR?
Harry

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend)?
Rae Diehl
Ashlyn Call

3) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?
Holly, my mentee!

4) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
Finding out that I was graduating in a year!!!

5) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?
Adjusting back to pampered US life after my study abroad in China, getting over my illness yet once again

6) BEST HOLIDAY?
Hoping for this Christmas!!! I get to meet my newest nephew...I'm SO EXCITED!

7) YOUR SONG FOR 2008:
Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, "Maps"

8) MOVIE FOR 2008:
The House Bunny! I made Harry see it with me!

9) WHO WAS YOUR BEST KISS?
Henry Hyunh

10) YOUR BIGGEST CRUSH ?
" "

11) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH?
Mr. Penn

12) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
Makeshift schoolgirl, man if only I had Rae's french maid costume earlier! ;)

13) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR?
DeMae

14) BOOK OF THE YEAR?
Failures of Integration, I just started it and I can already tell it's going to be a winner

15) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
Switching my major to Psychology

16) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
Enjoy my last year at BYU, stop being bitter and start making changes when I don't like what I see, finish up my last 2 college career goals, start applying to J.D./Masters in Psych programs

17) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN [NOT] DRUNK?
Getting mad at Harry

18) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
Heroes

19) MOST LOYAL FRIEND[S] OF 2008?
Rae, Lily, Xavi, Harry, Vayee

20) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR?
New job, new major, losing some of my China weight

21) BIGGEST ASSHOLE AWARD ?
M.E.
C.C.
I'll let you figure those two out.

22) 2009 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION?
My main one is personal, so I won't be sharing it. The other one revolves around spending more time with the people I love the most, especially the ones I will leaving at BYU

23) MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT[S] OF 2008?
Reconnecting with old friends I thought I'd never speak to again

I'm not through with you yet...

2008-12-16T21:53:00.003-07:00

I promised more to come...but since I'm preparing for finals, this is only a smidgen of what I planned to have coming:

Just something to think about, even though it's post-election...(reprinted from my Multicultural America class)

Is there a double standard where race and politics are concerned?

Could Obama do the following and still have a reasonable chance at becoming president of the U.S.?

Introduce 5 children to the American public, including a 3-month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter
Finish 5th from the bottom of his graduating class
Leave his first wife after a severe, disfiguring car accident, and engage in a long affair with his second wife (while still married to his first wife)
Marry someone who became addicted to pain killers and also acquired the drugs illegally through her own charitable organization
Be involved in a major banking scandal (The Keating Five)
Experience difficulties when reading from a teleprompter
Military experience includes discipline problems and a record of crashing 7 planes
Have a history of serious anger management problems that have regularly been displayed in public
Marry a woman whose family makes millions from the brewing and distribution of beer
Finally graduate from college after attending 4 different colleges and universities
Spend $150,000 of campaign monies on his wardrobe

While you were sleeping...

2008-12-12T03:02:00.004-07:00

This is kind of a whiny blog. Only read if you like hearing me whine.

When I'm not sleeping, due to my on again off again insomnia, I'm usually reminiscing. Today my reminiscing revolves around a couple of my dearest friends. Let me be frank: I really, really miss them. I lost 3 of my best girlfriends to the greater cause of spreadin' the good word; they became sister missionaries. Funny how I always thought I'd join them...but here I am 21 and 4 months, no plans, no papers. I'm losing another at the end of Winter semester. In all honesty, I'm not really losing them-they're coming back, and I remind myself of that often. Sometimes I wonder if we'll pick up right where we'll left off...maybe they'll be too "holier than thou" for me. Will we have an awkward phase? Will they incessantly spout off mission stories? Will I struggle to keep up?

OH BAH!

I just anxiously await the day when Rachel Tan calls me up and says, "JESS-LET'S GO SHOPPING!!!" Then we'll jump in my trusty Corolla, put the windows down and blast the most ISH song of the moment, while dancing like the fools we are. Then we'll pick up some burgers that we won't be able to finish at Red Robin and talk about boys and gossip about all them other fools. It's gonna be GREAT.

I LOVE MY GIRLS!

RACHEL TAN
ASHLEY SOH
LILY FERGUSON

Just in time for my last year...

2008-12-08T23:37:00.004-07:00

The "How BYU are you?" Survey

77 questions.

[X] You have been kissed at least once (mind you, I've noticed that more girls at BYU haven't been kissed when compared to the college average, must be that whole, "save your kisses" spiel)
[_] Your first kiss was on campus
[X] You've had a boyfriend/girlfriend
[_] You lived in the dorms your freshman year
[_] You went to Homecoming or Preference
[X] You hiked the Y
[_] You've taken a social dance class
[X] You regularly attended FHE for at least a semester
[_] You've participated in Choose to Give
[_] You've been to Liberty Square for a party at least once
[X] You've driven around south of campus for at least 20 minutes trying to find a parking spot
[_] You know the cougar fight song
[X] You've crossed the crosswalk without using the flags or biked through a red light
[X] You've been to Friday Night Live
[_] You've performed or witnessed an act that made it onto Police Beat
[X] You've been on a "date" to the bell tower or duck pond
[_] You've been to the Bean Museum for FHE
[X] You've been to Divine Comedy
[_] You've been to International Cinema
[_] You are engaged
[_] You are married
[_] ...in the temple
[_] You were previously engaged/married
[_] You have kids or are expecting kids
[_] Your birth parents are still married (what does this have to do with being more BYU-ish?)
[_] ...in the temple
[X] You have at least three siblings
[_] You've taken a marriage prep or relations class
[X] You've taken at least one religion class that is not based on the scriptures
[_] You have slept on a couch in a restroom
[X] You have been to the BYU Creamery
[_] You have been in one of the BYU choirs
[X] You've been on a date to Fat Cats
[X] You have read Twilight
[X] ...book 2
[X] ...book 3
[_] ...book 4
[X] ...seen the movie
[_] ...more than once
[_] You've waited in line at the Bookstore for the Harry Potter or Twilight book premiere
[X] You have seen The Singles Ward or Sons of Provo
[_] You have walked out of a movie you found morally reprehensible
[X] You know where the "chastity line" is (??!??!??)
[X] You can finish the phrase "Nothing good happens after ______"
[_] You read the Daily Universe at least 3x a week
[_] ...and it's the only newspaper you read
[X] You've personally known someone who was reported to the Honor Code Office
[_] You've participated in or watched a Mr. BYU contest
[X] You've received personal revelation that he/she is "the one" (or been told this)
[_] ...and told him/her about your revelation (or been told this)
[_] ...and then they rejected you (or rejected them)
[X] You've been to the Nickelcade
[X] You've been to Classic Skating
[X] You've ignored your parents' phone calls for at least 3 days
[_] ...and then they called the University Police
[_] You've been pulled over by the University Police
[X] You watch The Office religiously
[_] You mostly wear jeans and t-shirts or plain fitted shirts
[X] You own at least 3 things from American Eagle or Hollister
[_] Your sacrament meeting is a fashion show/scam session
[X] You've been on a date to the Provo River
You've kissed in a...
[X] ...campus parking lot
[X] ...Provo Canyon or Squaw Peak
[X] ...on temple grounds
[X] ...on a couch as soon as your roommates left the room
[X] You think UVU is not a real university
[_] You hate U of U with a passion

FOR GIRLS (don't answer if you're a guy)
[X] You own knee-length shorts
[X] You regularly wear camisoles/undershirts for modesty reasons
[_] You are a MFHD, RMYL, Elementary Education, or Exercise Science Major
[_] Your major crush ended up dating a MFHD, RMYL, Elementary Education, or Exercise Science major
[_] You have had at least one roommate who is in hair or dental school
[_] You own The Italian Job or The Princess Bride
[X] You wear makeup at least 3x a week
[X] You do something with your hair (other than brush it/ponytail) at least 3x a week
[_] You went or plan on going on a mission
[_] ...because you couldn't get married

FOR GUYS (don't answer if you're a girl)
[_] You shave every (or almost every) morning
[_] You know when your hair is "too long"
[_] You know what the "divide by 2 and add 7" dating rule is
[_] ...and you follow it
[_] You've dated freshmen girls as a RM
[_] ...when you already knew better
[_] You've used the phrase "On my mission..." to a girl
[_] At least 3 girls have baked cookies or meals for you
[_] You went or plan on going on a mission
[_] ...because you wanted to get married

TOTAL: 37

A: 68-77
B: 60-67
C: 53-66
D: 45-52
F: 44 or below.

I SCORED AN F! PHEW! I was scared this place was gonna suck me in!

AIM conversation...

2008-11-28T03:04:00.002-07:00

prediction pain (8:42:44 AM): i love you

prediction pain (8:42:47 AM): i'm still here

I love you too. And I'm still here.

I hate short little blurb entries but I'm exhausted, so it will have to do.

I <3 RAE!

2008-11-21T16:29:00.001-07:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Christmas lights before Thanksgiving should be a crime

2008-11-20T21:18:00.001-07:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

YES WE CAN...

2008-11-04T21:47:00.007-07:00

elect a Black man to the presidency. Harry and I were absolutely giddy when CNN announced the news.

And although it seems heaven sent
We ain't ready, to see a black President
-2pac's, "Changes"

If only 2pac had lived to see the day.

[MORE TO COME]

Our love fish...

2008-11-03T22:42:00.013-07:00

died today. If you've seen "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," you'll remember the part when Andie brings over the "love fern." Later, when trying to intentionally act psychotic, Andie goes on a rant when she sees that Ben neglected their "love fern," and thereby symbolically neglected their relationship.

Andie: Our love fern! You let it die!
Ben: No, honey, it's just sleeping.

Today I found out that our "love fish," wasn't sleeping. Unlike humans, fish don't enjoy sleeping on their sides. Harry was the first one to notice it. After pushing the fish around with a net and getting no response, it finally dawned on me. First, I realized it was truly, undeniably dead. Second, I retraced what events led to its death. I had left the fish in the little cup it had came in from the pet store. I was in the process of changing and sanitizing its bowl. I usually fill the water to the top, put a couple of drops of bleach and let it sit for awhile. Being the busy college student that I am, I put off dumping out the bleach water and putting the fish back into clean water. My roommate, thinking only good thoughts and only wanting to do good deeds, decided to save me some time and put the fish back into its bowl and into the bleach-water solution. Needless to say, the fish probably didn't last more than a few minutes.

Harry and I had a special relationship with the fish because of the events surrounding its introduction to the family (for all intensive purposes, we are going to assume Harry and I are somewhat of a family). Jessica was leaving for China for an entire fall semester and wanted to give Harry something so he wouldn't be lonely. She decided to surprise him by asking Jackie Watanabe to take care of the fish until Harry came back from summer vacation. Jackie was kinda grumpy about the whole ordeal, but agreed because Jessica graciously agreed to let her borrow a much needed cooking pot. I NEVER GOT THAT BACK, BTW!!! Upon receiving the fish, Harry was completely overcome with joy. While this wasn't be a perfect substitution for Jessica, it served as an everyday reminder that their love, like the fish, would always stay afloat.

This one's for you, FISHY.

Early Winter
by Gwen Stefani

You, you know how to get me so low
My heart had a crash when we spoke
I can't fix what you broke

And I always was, always was one for cryin
I always was one for tears

[Chorus 1]

The sun's getting cold, it's snowin
Looks like an early winter for us
an early winter, oh I need you to turn me over

It's sad the map of the world is on you
The moon gravitates around you
The seasons escape you

No I never was, never was one for lyin
You lied to me all these years

[Chorus 2]

The sun's getting cold, it's snowin
Looks like an early winter for us
It Looks like an early winter for us
An early winter, oh I need you to turn me over

Why, why do you act so stupid
Why, you know that I'm always right

It Looks like an early winter for us
It hurts and I can't remember sunlight
An early winter for us
The leaves are changing colors for us
Starting over and over and over again
Starting over and over and over again
Well it looks like an early winter for us
It looks like an early winter for us

FISHY
August 2007-November 2008
"We'll always remember how you swimmed"

My interpretation of my strange dream...

2008-10-23T18:26:00.012-06:00

If you haven't gotten the chance to read about my strange dream, see the previous post.

Most people that know me know that I have a strong interest, bordering on an obsession, with the topic of race. It didn't become a full-blown obsession until I entered adolescence, and more specifically, BYU. Race didn't have much relevance in my life before; didn't notice it much and didn't care to notice it. I've always considered myself American and I've never made a differentiation between my nationality, my ethnicity, and my race. I don't particularly like being reminded that I am somehow different from the majority of Americans. Since entering BYU I have been subject to a slew of ignorant comments. I cannot necessarily call them prejudiced because I really don't know their purpose or intent was; perhaps sheer ignorance. Once I was sitting in BYU's Marriott Center (which is our sports arena) about to hear our former prophet speak some words, when a boy and girl behind me started to make fun of Asians and their "funny" accents. I sat there, so completely shocked and appalled; wanting to say something but not knowing quite what. Once while driving in my car with my windows down a group of boys drove next to me and shouted, "Do you have any rice, can you give me some rice?" Sure, I could laugh such experiences off, but I can't shake the feeling that I get whenever these incidents occur: I AM DIFFERENT. And in these cases, those differences were substantial enough to subject me to harassment.

But in reality, those differences are very inconsequential. Race is simply a social construct; something that has been manipulated to mean much more than it should. Any differences in hair or skin color, eye shape, or nose width accounts for 2% of our genetic makeup. Race is only important if we give it importance and meaning. The symbolism behind race is so entrenched in our society that we can easily conjure up words that stereotypically define a Black (gangster), Latino (illegal), and Asian (nerd). Furthermore, race is often incorrectly associated with culture. If a person is Asian, an assumption can be that they are a part of "Asian culture." There are many Asians who no longer reside in their nation of origin and that have assimilated themselves into American institutions and belief systems. Many American born Asians are entirely unfamiliar with Asian culture and fully embrace the American way of life.

I am an American. I don't like it when people try to question this. When people ask me where I'm from, and refuse to be satisfied with the honest answer of 'Las Vegas,' I get angry. I am from Las Vegas. I was born and raised in Las Vegas. If you're asking me where I'm from because you think it'll help you understand me and the culture I come from a little better, you are wrong. I was raised with the Protestant work ethic while given hopes that I too, could one day achieve the American dream. I'm capitalistic. I don't plan on giving my parents money when they grow old. (Don't worry mom and dad, I will take care of you if you're sick and dying :)) I don't tell people what I think to their face. We didn't have a rice cooker in my house while growing up. McDonald's Happy Meals sustained my life as a child. I didn't learn the Chinese language until only recently and my American accent can still be heard from miles away, in fact, it still reverberates around the streets of Nanjing (I went to Nanjing, China for a study abroad in the fall). When I visited China for my first time, I, like my fellow white Americans was in a total state of culture shock. Furthermore, the Chinese didn't accept me as one of their own, myself being too American. In short, don't associate race with culture. In fact, don't associate race with anything.

I don't appreciate it when White Americans refer to themselves as Americans and then classify me as something else. Like today, one of my professors used the term Americans to describe Whites living in America. If anything, America is becoming something very non-White. Don't assume that America is one WASP nation under GOD. It is and will forever be much more than that.

To clarify, my interest in race started when I began to see that others saw me as different from the majority. I am not suggesting that everyone views me this way. In fact, many of my friends have told me that they don't see me as being different in any way.

SAD SIDE NOTE: Studies show that adolescents and their friend circles tend to become more racially homogeneous as they get older. In college, the rift between racial groups becomes especially evident. Prejudice and racism actually increases as individuals grow older. I've always found that to be a bit ironic, being that in college we tend to become more culturally educated (I hope). It doesn't make it any easier when you attend college that is very racially homogeneous to begin with. My belief is the more exposure you have to different races, the more opportunities you will have to see that people don't fit into cookie cutter constructs; the more you will be able to see that race predicts nothing. So I end on this, "DIVERSITY IS GOOD!"

My strange dream...

2008-10-23T18:08:00.004-06:00

took place at some sort of fast food establishment. There were several Asian-Americans in front of me in the line to the cash register. The worker at the front would hand them their food then exclaim a loud "shi-shi," butchering the Chinese word for thank you, "xie-xie." Each time, I would cringe and shudder uncontrollably, the butchering being THAT offensive and unneccesary, at that. Why not just say "thank you?" They obviously spoke English, as they ordered in perfect English. When I approached the counter, I did everything in my power to act as "American" as possible so he wouldn't assume that I too needed a Chinese thank you at the end of my order.

Am I eligible to fill out this survey?

2008-10-08T03:59:00.006-06:00

Its only been three years since I graduated high school, though it feels like much longer. Sometimes I get really nostalgic when I think about high school, but then I remember all the things I couldn't do and I get over it pretty quick.

1. Did you date someone from your high school: Yes, on and off for two years.

2. What kind of car did you drive? My white stallion, my baby, an 03' Toyota Corolla. A generous 16th birthday gift from my dad. Still running like a charm! I will never, ever part with this car. I vow that my Corolla will be my child's first car.

3. What is your most embarrassing moment in high school?: Hmmm...one time I gloated on stage over winning an oratory competition and I got a sharp reprimand from a couple members of my speech and debate team. In my defense, it was my first tournament!

4. Were you a party animal?: Looking back, I was ridiculously sheltered.

5. Were you considered a flirt?: Ask my following of men.

.6. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?: I discontinued band after middle school and choir seemed too stereotypically Mormon. Plus, Forensics was just too enticing.

7. Were you a nerd? I definitely studied more so than I do now, but I wouldn't consider myself nerdy in mannerisms or behavior.

8. Were you on any varsity teams?: No, though I wish I would've tried out for tennis.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?: I had a couple run-ins with my teachers for various undisclosed reasons. I served detention once for being excessively late.

10. Can you still sing the fight song?: HA! I laugh because the answer is no, in case you didn't get that.

11. Who were your favorite teachers?: I wasn't particularly fond of any of my teachers in HS, they were just a means to an end.

12. Where did you sit during lunch?: The location was constantly changing. Sometimes outside, sometimes in the lunchroom, and sometimes in room 200 with Anthony Liu (those eggrolls were disgusting...what was I thinking?).

13. School Mascot?: Gators.

14. Did you go to homecoming and with who?: Yes, Mark Emptage. For some reason I decided to handmake the boutonniere. It ended up falling apart mid-dance.

15. If you could go back and do it again, would you?: Only if I could have the perspective I have now while going back. Otherwise, what's the point?

16. What do you remember most about graduation?: I didn't walk.

17. Where did you go senior skip day?: Probably had a "pamper Jessica" day.

18. Have you gained weight since then?: Unfortunately. I was a stick in HS.

19. Who was your prom date?: Mark Emptage, two years in a row. I was pretty stoked to be asked out by a senior when I was only a junior.

20. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?: Not unless I've got something to show others up with...jk...we'll see.

21. Looking back, what advice would you give yourself?: Learn about others' lifestyles and be less judgemental if others that don't espouse the same beliefs as you. Don't try to convert your boyfriend.

violating a social norm...

2008-10-01T19:22:00.000-06:00

This is what my Social Psychology professor deems worthy of extra credit. I get a whole 5 points if I can adequately violate a social norm and live to tell the tale. I wish I could write this off to Harry, who violates a social norm on a daily basis, usually on purpose. The theme of this blog is BRAZENNESS so I guess I should be a little more BRAZEN and scream BRING IT ON.

bring it on.

Some examples my professor gave us of fellow BRAZEN students:
1. Going to the Cougereat and asking a stranger for a bite of the food
2. Talking to the person in the bathroom stall next to you
3. Two members of the same sex holding hands on campus (pretty taboo on BYU campus)
4. Going to the grocery store and taking something from another person's cart and saying, "I was just looking for that," then walking off
5. Asking for the number of a person already on a date
6. Refusing to shake hands with everyone at church
7. Sitting extra close to a person when there are plenty of other spaces available

Due to some stupidly BRAZEN people, we have ground rules:
1. Don't violate the Honor Code
2. Don't do it at church
3. Don't hurt the professor or his family
4. Don't get arrested

Other than the aforementioned, everything else is fair game. Suggestions?!??!?

Woo your woman/man with these quotes

2008-10-01T01:56:00.001-06:00

My favorite quotes on the subject matter of LOVE:

When love is not madness, it is not love.
-Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Many are the stars I see, but in my eye no star like thee.
-English saying (never heard anyone in England say this)

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
-Author unknown (pity!)

kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
-e.e. cummings

I've fallen in love many times...always with you.
-Author unknown

My last year at BYU...

2008-09-30T22:35:00.004-06:00

EDITED 2.28.2009
I'm not satisfied with my opening entry, so I'm going to redo it. I already deleted a good part of it, but I've salvaged my list of firsts. New and improved entry to come.
EDITED 8.24.2009
I realized I'm too lazy to edit this entry. Enjoy the entry that makes no sense because I cut out half of it.

Anyways, this entry wasn't supposed to be about love, I'll touch upon that at a later time. I wanted to reminisce a bit about the past three years at Brigham Young University. I will be graduating in approximately a year and three months (not so approximate, really). BYU and I have always had a complex love/hate relationship, though lately I've been neutral than anything. I went to BYU for the wrong reasons but I'm beginning to see that even when your beginnings are wrong, your endings can be right. I want to end right; at peace with myself and at peace with the university that I have struggled to remain at for three years. For starters, I'd like to list all the opportunities I've had while attending BYU:
1. I learned to speak Chinese. White-washed no more...I've got a little Asian culture in me!
2. I went to China. This was the crowning moment of my college career. Standing on the Great Wall, letting the smells of autumn time in Beijing overtake me, being satisfied with knowing I had come full circle.
3. I met some of my best friends. You know who you are and you know why I love you.
4. I met that special someone.
5. I discovered Mormon culture, for better or for worse.

(more to come)

Some of my firsts while in college:
1. I went sledding.
2. I went snowboarding.
3. I hiked the Y mountain.
4. I did my laundry.
5. I cooked a legitimate meal; Harry can attest to this.
6. I cooked a pretty damn good tasting meal; Harry can also attest to this.
7. I went canoeing.
8. I went kayaking in the ocean.
9. I color coordinated and decorated my room.
10. I took on the job as a server.
11. I worked retail. (NEVER AGAIN!)
12. I competed in a Chinese speech competition.
13. I had a snowball fight.
14. I fishtailed my car.
15. I played beer pong, king's cup.
16. I had a toga party.
17. I had a mocktail party.
18. I played tennis like tennis should be played.
19. I played Rock Band, Guitar Hero.

(more to come!)

I also participated in some other illicit behavior that I will not post on a public blog for fear of repercussions.

Vivete, amate, ridete

LOVE,
JESSICA

brazen (adj): bold self-assurance, shameless

The post that wasn't supposed to be about the GRE...

Obligatory life update post...

Musings of a sickie

He definitely topped my Halloween costume from last year...

An entry of phrases...

Culture Shock

Dear Real World,

The girl and her dog...

I was so agog over the writing of this blog entry...

I've been busy...

In response to my previous entry...

Thoughts that keep me up at night...

I thought only emo teenagers had angst...

Valentine's Day

Not an Avatard...

Poor brazenasian...

Merry Christmas loves!

No more racy stuff...

Miss me?

Blackface incident continues to cause consternation for some in community

By Adriane Williams

Is this an indication that I should go private?

My new guilty pleasure is...

Today I'm going to be a stereotype...

She's got a face not worth remembering...

You ungrateful little punks...[edited for errors and spellchecked]

Thought for the day...

I just like to hear myself blog...

Paisley Pink Boutique

Postgraduate Blues

My kind of humor...

I hate these weird social expectations at BYU...

Count me out...

I'm not one for sensationalism in writing...

Ron and I need to converse more often...

Jessica: Interracial dating fascinates me.

Ron: The only thing I don't like about it is that, in the long term, it would result in a very boring species. We would all just be coffee-colored.

Jessica: Lol, wow, best comment on interracial dating ever, can i steal it?

Thank you ROYGBIV acronym...

Severe writer's block...

senior pictures by gary ng

These are the times that make you want to scream SCHEISSE!

What's Love Got to Do With Race?

I have fallen in love with a man...

Some old musings...

If I still had a Twitter...

Facebook takes narcissism to new level

"I like you a lot," Meg

My two cents on "Racist Chia"

A Racist Chia Pet?

[featured on AOL Home]

Obama Chia Pet Pulled from Shelves

China grapples with new world role

Affirming Affirmative Action

I have midterms...

I like the concept of LENT...

Happy 2nd...

Where are you from?

Just gimme some robo-affection

"Are you KIDDING ME?!?!?"

One year since China...[UPDATED]

恭喜发财!

Because I don't already have enough to do...

Thanks for trashing my town, folks....

let's falalalalalalalalaaaaaaaa

Welcome to the 2008 Awards!

I'm not through with you yet...

While you were sleeping...

Just in time for my last year...

AIM conversation...

I <3 RAE!

Christmas lights before Thanksgiving should be a crime

YES WE CAN...

Our love fish...

My interpretation of my strange dream...

My strange dream...

Am I eligible to fill out this survey?

violating a social norm...

Woo your woman/man with these quotes