brazen (adj): bold self-assurance, shameless

我的中国名字

Jess inspired me to write a blog about the very elusive meaning behind my Chinese name. A little shout out to one of my dearest friends, Jess Tang, for recently creating a blog and writing about the origins of her Chinese name-girl, you are my inspiration!

I describe the meaning as being elusive because for most of my life the meaning has truly eluded me, confused me, and ultimately, held no place in my formal name as I already possessed an American first name, middle name, and last name.

Without further ado, I present to you...my Chinese name (with surname):

杨 洁 玲
Yang Jie-ling

When I was younger I'd drop the name occasionally to demonstrate that I was somehow more special than my White counterparts-I had a fourth name that no one understood. It resounded with such a exotic ring to it, albeit I was not pronouncing it according to proper Chinese tones (in all honesty, to this day my tones are still sub-par). Throughout my lifetime I've vacillated between moments of being very proud of my ethnic heritage and moments of being utterly ashamed that I possessed one drop of Chinese blood. My love and appreciation for my Chinese name has coincided with these moments. In the past, I've been more prone to share my American middle name, "Anne" (and if you're thinking it's pronounced "Annie" you are most indubitably wrong). My mother bestowed the name upon me primarily because it resembles her own first name. My father, being the more "Chinese" one of the two gave me my Chinese name. I often wonder if my father ever expected me to utilize my Chinese name in the future. Considering that neither one of my parents taught their children Chinese, I would highly doubt that they expected us to use them. Thankfully, my name and my sibling's Chinese names did not go by the wayside. My brothers used their Chinese names extensively while on their LDS missions in Taiwan. My Chinese name came in handy while taking BYU Chinese courses and of course, while studying abroad in China. Instead of having to arbitrarily pick a name for myself or have an online program select one for me, I had one prepackaged and waiting for me to open its folds and discover its meaning. Writing my name was a challenge in and of itself. Stroke order did not come naturally and I struggled to make my characters look presentable. On top of this, I would often forget how to write the characters. However, even amidst my forgetfulness of strokes and characters, I never forgot the meaning of my name.

My father's interpretation: clean, honest, intelligent, possessing integrity, valuable, priceless.
The dictionary's definition: jie from qingjie=clean, ling from ling long=exquisite; detailed; clever; quick (of a woman)

How grateful I am to have a name that carries such meaning. My name has given me a standard to which I aspire to. I yearn to exemplify the qualities my father envisioned for me.

When asked which name I would like to be called by during graduation, I asked that Jie-ling be used in place of Anne. I have also decided that I will formally change my middle name on my birth certificate. The journey to discovering the significance behind my ethnic heritage has been such a meaningful part of my college career that I would like to commemorate this journey through the use of my Chinese name during convocations. The journey will be a lifelong one and I feel that by officially changing my middle name I can further celebrate my continued commitment to studying Chinese culture and language.