Emotions Abounding

I suppose I should start getting accustomed to this position: eyes heavy, hands on keyboard, feet grounded on the carpet.  Graduate school will undoubtedly bring an onslaught of papers and long nights staring at an overly illuminated computer screen (I just opened up a syllabus for class and oh lawdy, my blood pressure shot up considerably).  Why not prep myself by writing a blog entry?  These keys seem to be a bit dusty anyhow.  

I will always have a special connection with my hometown of Las Vegas.  It's the town of a thousand vices but I love it despite its faults.  Las Vegas has never judged me so I care not to judge her.  I fondly remember making the decision two and a half years ago to venture back home.  I was in Utah at the close of my undergraduate career and driving through something I interpreted as a blizzard (probably more like a flurry to a Utah native) on the freeway.  The snow was resolute in launching its attack and sticking to my windshield.  In defense, I decided to squirt a stream of windshield wiper fluid.  A very foolish move on my part, the windshield wiper fluid now being frozen alongside packed snow.  I cautiously navigated my way to the next freeway exit while peering through a small space on the bottom of my windshield and utilizing my side mirrors.  Once pulled over, I began chipping away at the ice and contemplating if I could realistically stay in Utah for another winter.  With each piece of ice falling to the ground, my resolve became undeniable: I would be flying south for the winter and beyond.

Because of the considerable time I had spent as a child and adolescent in Las Vegas, I assumed I knew the city quite well. Going home would be returning to a comfort zone, a predictable place of friends, eateries, and businesses.  I thought I would venture to my old stomping grounds frequently and bask in the nostalgia.  Las Vegas surprised me this time around because it truly tested my conceptions about what it represented and what it had to offer.  I discovered my assumptions of the people and places were quite outdated or possibly, never accurate to begin with.  I was beginning to experience Las Vegas an adult.

My first job as an adult in Las Vegas required me to journey into areas of the city I had never stepped foot in.  Part of my naivety stemmed from strong beliefs that these areas were less safe or underdeveloped.  Pity I allowed these stereotypes to stop me from exploring, which is so essential to the adolescent experience. Areas like Aliante in North Las Vegas and Mountian's Edge in the southwest are flourishing communities with all the facilities of say, a Green Valley.

I solidified my status as a true foodie after returning to Las Vegas. That statement makes it seem like being a foodie takes some real effort, but eating considerable amounts of good food is really quite simple.  I came to appreciate and adore the fare in Las Vegas-diverse, easily accessible, readily available at all hours, inexpensive and generally delectable.  I even discovered my current favorite genre of food during my 2nd go around in Las Vegas-soul food.  Ella Em's and M & M will convince you that your last meal on earth should be comprised of soul food.  Note to readers: Please make sure my last meal on earth consists of collard greens, yams, smothered chicken, oxtail, and cornbread.  Don't forget the cornbread-extremely important.

Finally, in returning to Las Vegas, I believed I would probably hangout with the same people as yesteryear, in those old familiar places.  Very, very false.  I met some dynamic individuals as an adolescent in Las Vegas and I was fortunate to meet many more after returning in 09.  In our gatherings, we went to places discovered via Yelp: Japanese arcades, dive bars and karaoke clubs.  I learned that coworkers have the potential to become your closest friends, advocates, and supporters (also learned not to date coworkers, but that is another juicy story for another time...like never).    

A month ago, I walked my high school campus before once again, bidding adieu to my beloved Las Vegas.  I'm undertaking that other adventure they call graduate school (Wait, my last post was on GREs and now I'm in graduate school, when did this happen?!?). While walking, I noticed that the outside of my high school is pretty barren, a bit sterile even.  But inside those walls there is so much growth happening and so many seeds being sown for future growth.  Las Vegas was a great place to start and a great place to come back to.  I'm grateful I had a second chance to experience her and I apologize for all the previous Vegas bashing.  You won't hear me utter another word.  

The post that wasn't supposed to be about the GRE...

I'm going to veer off topic for a bit as it would truly be a shameful of me not to acknowledge all those who called, texted, or provided me with nourishment while I was studying for the GRE. For all those who called and texted in order to distract me from studying, those calls were generally welcome as well, though I did set my phone to auto-message during the days immediately preceding the test. Sorry if you received a snarky auto-message from me, I promise I'm a much nicer person post-GRE (though not that much nicer).

I discovered I don't mind writing essays on the computer for the GRE analytical writing portion. It feels like I'm authoring a blog post. Though I'm not one to enjoy writing by coercion, I became highly engrossed in the topics which were presented to me. I ended up with extra time at the end of the writing portion...time I dearly wish I could've tacked onto other sections of the test. Whatever happened to the concept of rollover minutes? ETS needs to get with the times.

I'm planning to take the test once more because the Asian in me won't quit. First question I posed to myself after the initial elation of seeing my scores went away, "Jessica, the score is good, but is it Asian good?" Gah, ethnic identity be damned! So, they're rolling out a new format of the test which no longer features antonyms or analogies. I wouldn't be surprised if they replaced them with something equally mind-boggling and vexing. Vocabulary is only to be used within context so supposedly with context clues you should be able to determine the meaning of all words. Math will undoubtedly become more difficult as the new test will feature an on-screen calculator. I would rather sacrifice the calculator in order to keep the math at the level that it is. Also, geometry problems are rather difficult to solve when they are presented to you on a computer screen. I'm quite accustomed to writing all over a geometry problem, and I find copying the problem from screen to scratch paper to be a time-waster. I already ordered my prep book for the new GRE format which really begs the question, "Am I studying to master the material, or am I studying to master the format?" Maybe a bit of both.

I decided to make this entry its own entry instead of transitioning to a completely unrelated topic. I do believe I've justified my ramblings concerning the GRE to be its own entry. Plus, it's not like I'm wasting paper or anything. Blogs are green...though I do keep a paper journal, so I guess they balance each other out.

Obligatory life update post...

This post covers the months of December 2010, January 2011, February 2011 and part of March 2011. I'm lacking in fodder, so bear with me as I try to embellish the mundaneness of which they call life.

-I got my heart broken, severely and shockingly so. It majorly sucked. I'm glad that matter has been put to rest. Also insanely grateful for girlfriends who stood by me with towels to mop up the deluge. Love that word, happy for the long-awaited opportune moment to use it.

-Got promoted. This means I can get my hair did. Also my nails. Saving for graduate school is also important.

-I finished my GRE prep course. Let's just say the course indicated that I need to study, so study I shall, eventually.

-I started my position as a Research Assistant for one of UNLV's professors.

-I moved into a house. Pavie barks like a banshee dog in the backyard whenever she hears neighbors. She has mastered the trick of sit pretty which will add to her already impressive trick list of sit, down, up, shake, high five, come, stay, and go pee-pee. Yes, I will accept comparisons to Cesar Milan.

This is how I feel most of the time:

This is what Pavie does most of the time (when she isn't barking at the voices coming from beyond):

Yep, we're doing well.

Dear Real World,

You truly are getting the best of me. My 23rd birthday is fast approaching, and you've got me shaking in my boots (or flip-flops to be more exact), because I'm realizing how ridiculously adult-like I've become.

Some indicators I'm aging like a fine wine:

Summer is just another three months of work.

I'm working full-time and surprisingly enough, saving money in the process. I guess that's what work is for, huh?

Hello Kitty has lost her appeal; my brother actually foresaw this one coming, though I adamantly denied it could ever come to pass. Imagine a screaming 12 year old Jessica, "NOOO, HELLO KITTY FOREVER, HELLO KITTY FORREEEEVVVEEEERRRR!!!"

I almost passed out on the swinging boat ride at Circus Circus' AdventureDome. Luckily, the 13 year olds I work with turned a blind eye to this very embarrassing display of lameness.

I no longer qualify for insurance under my parents. Yes, I will be making that dentist appointment ASAP.

I gain weight. Bleh.

I've become secure in my status of a nerd. I don't like clubbing and I don't like partying....there I said it.

I'm more level-headed and more prone to being rational during conflict. I have my clients to thank for this; how can I expect them to use anger management techniques if I don't model them myself?

I have a 10 year plan.

I have a 20 year plan.

Marriage sounds like a reasonable option.

College seems like forever ago.

When asked why I can't go out my usual reply is, "I'm saving for grad school."

Some indicators that I'm still reveling in whatever remnants of childhood I have left:

I'm officially addicted to Plants vs. Zombies.

I can still kick it with my younger nieces and nephews.

Someone asked me if I was dating one of the boys I work with. He's 13. Yeah.

I painted my nails Shrek Green a few weeks ago. (Shout out to OPI's Shrek Collection!) Needless to say, I was quite the sight when I attended court with one of my clients: tailored shirt, a-line skirt, pearl earrings, and bright green nails.

Having kids sounds like a very unreasonable option right now.

I still stay up late. In fact, I'm writing this post at 2:30 am!

Notice the latter list is shorter. :o

I find aging particularly scary because I feel like it gives me a standard or expectation to which I should be living. What are other 22-23 year olds doing at this time? Am I up to par? I try to avoid thinking about the great prodigies and the very prodigious feats they were undertaking at my age. Needless to say, I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others. Our lives have taken us on different paths, and my path is mine alone.

Here are some nice pictures of younger, more carefree Jessica to accompany this post. From top to bottom: Christmas morning and sporting my pimp Little Mermaid pajamas and penguin slippers, before church showing off the backpack I sewed for my stuffed bear, river rafting with the siblings, my atrocious 1st grade school picture

GRE Word of the Post:

intransigent (adj): stubborn; immovable; unwilling to change

An intransigent Jessica refused to believe she was aging, but alas, her blog entry proved otherwise.

I was so agog over the writing of this blog entry...

May it be known to all that I have begun studying for the GRE. My vocabulary should undoubtedly increase exponentially within the next few months. This increased vocabulary will be showcased in my blog which will grow fabulously more and more abstruse as the days go by. Yes, I will throw it random GRE vocab words into blog entries regardless of their context. Yes, I am that adriot. Yes, I do plan on blogging more regularly, thank you for asking.

For all my friends that are likewise studying for the GRE, I will provide a word of the entry, not to be confused with a word of the day, which would be much too demanding of me.

Today's word is: accoutre v. equip
The fisherman was accoutred with the best that the sporting goods store could supply.

I've been busy...

"checkin' cheddar" as a good friend of mine always says. Working full time as a (brace yourself for the longest job title EVER) Psychosocial Rehabilitation Specialist runs the gamut from being insanely challenging to indescribably rewarding. I've been to my wits end, wondering how I will ever find the strength to continue chipping away at my clients and the issues they are struggling with. I have also been deeply moved by my clients and their resiliency; the fortitude of the human spirit and mind. A little background information, since I feel like I've gotten ahead of myself. I started working for a company in the social services sector (I'm trying to be discreet, for my privacy's sake) in March. Prior to March, I was working as a tutor for a private company. During this time, I was incredibly fearful that I would never find a full-time job in my field of Psychology with the job market being in such dire straights. I cannot say I did anything out of the ordinary in order to attain my job, though I have no doubt moving to Las Vegas increased the likelihood of finding work. The companies I interviewed for in Utah were overly saturated with recently graduated Psychology majors looking for jobs, making the expected hours and salary much lower than desirable. As for what I do specifically, I'll let the experts fill you in. Keep in mind that this is what I am expected to do, but like any job, the formal job description can never fully encapsulate what you do. Oh and by the way, we're called PSRs for short. Psychosocial Rehabilitation Specialist just doesn't roll of the tongue very nicely.

Psychosocial Rehabilitation refers "to a range of social, educational, occupational, behavioral, and cognitive interventions for increasing the role performance of persons with serious and persistent mental illness and enhancing their recovery (3,4,5,6,7). Psychosocial rehabilitation includes services aimed at long-term recovery and maximization of self-sufficiency."

"Psychosocial rehabilitation in general and skills training in particular, for both consumers and family members, are intended to promote a range of outcomes (27). These interventions have demonstrated success in symptom reduction, community adjustment, relapse prevention, medication compliance, and reduced use of the hospital and other restrictive settings."

3. Anthony WA, Liberman RP: Principles and practice of psychiatric rehabilitation, in Handbook of Psychiatric Rehabilitation. Edited by Liberman RP. New York, Macmillan, 1992
4. Baron RC: Psychosocial rehabilitation: an overview of principles, programs, and practices, in Best Practices in Psychosocial Rehabilitation. Columbia, Md, International Association of Psychosocial Rehabilitation Services, 1996
5. Corrigan PW, Rao E, Lam C: Psychiatric rehabilitation, in Case Management Desk Reference. Edited by Chan F, Leahy ML. Lake Zurich, Ill, Vocational Consultants Press, 1999
6. Flexer RW, Solomon PL (eds): Psychiatric Rehabilitation in Practice. Boston, Andover Medical, 1993
7. Lamb HR: A century and a half of psychiatric rehabilitation in the US. Hospital and Community Psychiatry 45:1015-1020, 1994[Abstract/Free Full Text]
27. IAPSRS Research Committee: Toolkit for Measuring Psychosocial Outcomes. Columbia, Md, International Association of Psychosocial Rehabilitation Services, 1995