Showing posts with label trivialities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trivialities. Show all posts

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Musings of a sickie

I will shamefully admit that my sickness is not the body vs. virus sort; the kind that conjures up images of gallant white blood cells in the midst of a heated battle against a foreign invader. Rather, this sickness is sadly self-inflicted and the result of an adverse reaction to a medication. Never mind that I was a little too pill happy and believed myself to be the exception to any side effect warnings, this girl is still throwing herself a pity party.


I was really looking forward to the weekend and had plans to hit up the very much hyped Cosmopolitan. I planned to walk in looking extra swanky with my no gin, just tonic, acting very unimpressed by it all and even going so far as to rolling my eyes a few times. I guess the Cosmo will have to wait as I am currently bedridden, looking extra sallow with a Gatorade by my side.


This entry is getting classified as a 'to be continued', the nausea seems to be setting in again. Moral of story: don't undertake the task of a writing a blog entry when you're sick.

Friday, September 24, 2010

An entry of phrases...

Hit up Monta (Noodle House). Ramen place. Trying to prove Las Vegas has everything LA has. Pretty much futile. Harry wins. Today only. Ask Japanese speaking waitress how to pronounce "tonkotsu." Already butchered pronunciation a thousand times. Waitress gives me look like I should know. Asian face, American accent?!?!? Answer her back with blank stare. Waitress proceeds to pronounce word at a speed not humanly comprehensible. Crap. More blank stares. Again, please? Giggling waitress. What's so funny? Second run-through faster than first. Seriously? Stumbling over words. Impatience, frustration, fin.

Hear me out please. Someone approaches me. Speaks little English. Asks me to pronounce hamburger. Enunciate like mad. Take time with each syllable. Sound it out. Speak slowly. Warm fuzzies everywhere.

Come on Monta. Throw me a bone.



Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Not an Avatard...

This afternoon was spent watching Avatar and exposing my father to all things Avartarish. I will geekily admit that it was my second time watching the movie. Second screenings are rare for me; I am not commonly enraptured by a film. Choosing to watch Avatar for a second time didn't involve much of a decision: I had already planned on it midway through the first viewing in Provo. On a sidenote, movie prices are highway robbery in Las Vegas. My father spent $27.00 for some high-tech mumbo-jumbo, "Extreme HD" experience. The screen was a bit larger and the CGIs a bit more defined, oh and leather seats. For the price you'd think they'd be heated and outlined in gold and exotic jewels. I'd rather pay 10 dollars less and sacrifice the hoity-toity movie experience "enhancement." So today Provo, I might've missed you for 2 seconds while I was at the box office. The feeling quickly passed after remembering the delectable Japanese fare I had earlier for lunch. Vegas sushi trumps Provo sushi any day.

I would do a review of the movie, but I don't like to be a spoiler. I like to be spoiled, but not a spoiler-please note the difference. I will, however, comment on the popular notion that Avatar is similar in plot to the Pocahontas story. There are definitely some imperialistic undertones to the movie which draw parallels to English/Native American events. John Smith indeed fell in love with someone not of the same background as (poop, I cannot write this without adding spoilers) Jake Sully did. However, Jake Sully decides to become one of the Na'vi and does not seek to "civilize" Neytiri. In fact, he comes to embrace her culture and ultimately assimilates himself and becomes accepted as a brother of the tribe. As of date, I've never heard any reports about John Smith becoming part of the Powhatan tribe. In fact, as I recall, Pocahontas returned to England with another English dude and while there ran into John Smith. John Smith had betrayed the Powhatan tribe by not coming to their aid when they were being persecuted. John Smith...not cool man, not cool.

[I am fully aware that the Pocahontas story I am drawing from is not the most historically accurate one but the more romanticized, Disney-esque version.]


Don't you let Jake Sully tell you who's civilized and who's not

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Is this an indication that I should go private?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello !.
You re, I guess , probably very interested to know how one can make real money .
There is no initial capital needed You may start earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you need
The company represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become a happy investor?
That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

I`m happy and lucky, I began to take up real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to select a correct partner utilizes your money in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://ilokowubi.kogaryu.com/wyjupon.html
and go! Let`s take our chance together to feel the smell of real money

December 2, 2009 1:22 PM

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Today I'm going to be a stereotype...


My inspiration: www.asianposes.com

And to think, I overlooked the V sign...what could I have possibly been thinking? While these poses may look easy to the untrained eye, if you look closely I'm grimacing a little in each one. Looking like an anime character does not come naturally to me. Applying heinous amounts of black eyeliner wasn't very pleasant either. Oh well, all in a day's work for Jess.

From left to right: Claw #1, Okay #1, Okay #2, Nyan Nyan, Bang, Call Me, Punch to the Face, Claw #2, Adjusting Glasses

PS: This is probably the most self-absorbed I get, next to posting a huge picture of myself as my blog masthead. teehee.

PPS: Blog masthead explanation post (Halloween post) coming soon to a browser near you...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I just like to hear myself blog...

This post probably belongs in my epicuriousinprovo.com blog but since that enterprising project went down the fecal matter hole it looks like it will find a home here.

Provo needs a good teriyaki place. I find that in order to get decent teriyaki you must venture into sit-down restaurants with geisha attire wearing waitresses which can often be pricey. There is also Teriyaki Stix which I will sometimes frequent in order to fix an insatiable need for teriyaki. It takes an overpowering delirium (usually brought on by my lack of teriyaki bowls) which drives me to step foot in the establishment. The bowls at Teriyaki Stix are pre-made and only receive a quick zapping in the microwave before serving. The lack of preparation is obvious as you dabble through scant amounts of bland chicken and vegetables coupled with an unproportional amount of teriyaki sauce that overwhelms and stifles the rice from ever fully expressing itself. Notice how I just anthropomophized rice, a feat definitely worth noting.

In short, you're left wondering why you even went in the first place.

I miss the dismally dirty teriyaki venues at home. I miss the fact that they're a fusion of Asian fares: Chinese, Japanese, Korean. Kimchee with your beef bowl? No problem! I also miss the fact that I can hear more than just a microwave buzzing as the cooks make my meal to order. Nom, nom, nom.

So I've decided if all other plans fall through, ie. teaching English in China; finding a respectable job, I'll open up a teriyaki place. I've already come up with the name, "JessYaki" and the slogan, "Get your yaki on!" Because honestly, if a place like Provo/Orem can get a good pho place (plug for Pho Noodle House on State St.) it's about time they got a good teriyaki place.

JESSYAKI YA'LL! COMING TO PROVO WHENEVER JESSICA FIGURES OUT SHE CAN'T FIND A JOB.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

My kind of humor...

Recently I was asked what sort of humor tickles my fancy. Here is a sampling of what never fails to make me ROFL. If you want to win brownie points from me you should probably quote a few of these people. If you quote them however, I will know that you read my blog and you are trying to win brownie points from me. So, this is how it will go: you will win a few brownie points as I revel in sheer delight over the fact that someone can actually quote some of my favorite comedians. After the reveling period is over I will start questioning your intentions and ultimately label you as a creeper.

Btw, if you are sensitive to swearing, I would highly suggest not watching these clips.

1. Russell Peters

2. Dave Chappelle

3. Anjelah Johnson

4. Bobby Lee

5. Dat Phan

6. Maddox (not necessarily a stand-up comedian but I enjoy the caustic humor he dishes up on his webpage)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Thank you ROYGBIV acronym...

for making my rainbow's sequence of hues spectrally accurate.

I think the heat is getting to me.

Severe writer's block...

has inflicted me with the wrath of a thousand....yep there goes my writer's block again. Feel free to give me suggestions as to what the "wrath of a thousand" should be followed by because I am at a serious loss for words. I am trying to finish up a few drafts that have been left by the wayside but so far no luck. Sometimes I feel this insatiable urge to write but tonight my appetite is non-existent. Maybe my muse took a vacay this week too. In any case, muse or no muse, the words aren't a flowing so don't expect any...hmmmmm...I got nothing.

I write this in order to inform my loyal fan base (cough, cough) that I am not MIA. I'm bumbling about in Las Vegas, searching for things to do in a city that never sleeps (I found out everything sleeps except the strip after 10:00 pm). I think about my blog often, and I feel guilty when I'm not entertaining my readers with some ridiculous story about pocketknifes, sushi, and German swear words. Maybe I'm having writer's block because I'm not particularly angry about anything right now (correction: I'm pretty angry about something right now, but it's not public space material). I'm actually pretty chill for once. I'm not angry over race, I'm not angry at BYU, I'm certainly not angry at sushi. Maybe I should be enjoying this time of passivity. I think I'll go draw a picture of a rainbow with me holding hands with a person from every race.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

If I still had a Twitter...

I would tweet this: I left a Crest Whitestrip Advanced Seal on overnight and now my teeth and gums are sore and hurtin' up a storm.

Maintaining a Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and blog was proving itself to be overload. Something had to go and since my Twitter has been the most neglected of the 4, I decided to scrap it. In all honesty, I felt a bit narcissistic providing constant status updates. Jessica is watching a movie; Jessica is eating an orange; Jessica is picking out toe junk. I guess one could argue my blog is no different. Who wants to hear about my ever-so-eventful trip to Timbuktu? Where is Timbuktu anyways? I need to Wiki this STAT.

I thoroughly enjoyed this editorial by Rachel Gaynes. I'm not sure how to properly cite her work, but know that I am not taking credit for it, though I wish I could...it being such a well-worded article.

Facebook takes narcissism to new level

My boss texts me that I’m 45 minutes late, my grandfather floods my inbox with chain mail featuring jokes you have to be at least 40 to appreciate, and my mother calls to correct the spelling of my Facebook status. My life is an intricate Web and a mess of wires. This technology that keeps me connected is used by a wide age range, including Generation X, Generation Y and the one to which I personally subscribe and call fondly Generation I.

Generation I is my term for the slightly self-absorbed generation at the forefront of the social media movement. Each member has an arsenal of social media tools, Facebook being the most prevalent. Not surprisingly, a study published in September 2008 by researchers at the University of Georgia found Facebook could be used as a means of gauging narcissism. In the first analysis of its kind, researchers observed that the quantity of friends and wall posts people amassed on their profiles was indicative of how narcissistic they were in daily life.

Facebook provides a rather accurate method of ego estimation because this quantity-over-quality online attitude mimics real-life behavior in which narcissists concern themselves only with how things appear to others. I am by no means condemning every one of Facebook’s 175 million users as raging egomaniacs, but the whole concept really is a transparent spectacle of self-promotion.

Facebook permits any narcissist with Internet access to assemble an army of pseudo friends, employ the help of a thesaurus in writing contemplative wall posts and upload only photos in which the subject’s nose looks almost proportionate. By controlling every aspect of one’s profile, a user can create a compelling identity similar to the one that person implements in reality, but better.

When I created my own Facebook profile, I justified it by saying it was a means of staying informed about the lives of my friends as we chased our dreams and the miles between us multiplied. Then I discovered the “info” section. Later, as I was doing the final spell check on my alphabetical lists of interests, favorite music and must-reads, it was pretty useless denying, even to myself, that Facebook is designed more as an outlet to showcase every detail of one’s life than to stay in touch with friends.

It’s this kind of blatant egocentricity, popular among members of Generation I, that has enabled Facebook to flourish. In preparation for writing this article, I spent an evening appraising my friends’ Facebooks. After a few hours of procrastination barely disguised as research, I concluded egotism isn’t just for the egotist anymore. Mark Leary, a psychologist at Duke University, told ABC News that social media such as Facebook promote narcissistic behavior, even in an unpretentious person. It seems everyone has an inner narcissist who is responsible for the Facebook status.

The status is uncontested as my favorite component of Facebook. Not only does it bestow upon users the far-too-rare opportunity to speak in third person; it allows them to habitually update their friends on the most inane details of their lives. For example, “Rachel Gaynes is writing her editorial,” or “Rachel Gaynes is making a marshmallow sandwich,” or “Rachel Gaynes is hung over and still writing her editorial.”

This isn’t, however, merely the work of the inner narcissist. The Facebook status is the result of a significant shift in thinking within Generation I. The concept of being social has adapted, now requiring that a person be eternally connected and no longer differentiate between personal and public information. Young people have accepted that sharing private information about themselves is simply a part of having friends. The advice your mother provided long ago finally makes sense: Sharing is caring.

Facebook is the embodiment of an online world in which users share secrets as if they were shaking hands. It is a strain of narcissm, but it’s far more evolved than that. We are witnessing the initiation of a modern custom of absolute exposure, a side effect of the information age. I can only imagine the ways in which this candor will continue to grow.